Reflecting on the past 19 years

Out of a sudden, i love my blog so much and feel like blogging and blogging. Recently, one of my NS buddies had his birthday and my instructor asked him,"Perhaps you can reflect on the yr that you juz had passed." I think it does make sense For me, since my birthday is around the corner, i think i shld reflect on the 18th yr that i have lived.

What i feel is that this yr i had gained a lot. I did well for my A-lvl and i didn't have to study until i feel like dying. Not that i'm sadistic, i really enjoy studying, in particular chemistry.

I also made some livelong friendship after i went for the malaysia exchange trip. I acknowledged a younger brother and we have a good bonding until now.

My 18th yr is also the year that i joined army. I'm happy that my vocation isn't that bad and the superiors i encounter, majority are quite good and caring.

However, my regret is that i haven't gotten into a relationship for the past 18 years. Actually my hope is to get into a relationship b4 i enter university. Though now, love isn't that impt. My family and my friends are more impt. However, I start to lose confidence in my love life. Am I really so lousy that i can't find a girlfriend? There are girls who like me but i don't really like them. I dun wanna agree to a relationship that isn't 2 way. It'll be really tough. I juz thought of this problem and I become a little bit emo and i recall a few songs.

The 1st song is an older song, the theme song of a fann wong's drama(缘尽今生). The name of the song is known as 熄缘, by 辛晓琪. It is a song on a woman, looking back at her love life. I do feel a lot for this song. The song is like this:

回首看我一生
发现爱的旅程不完整
宁愿只爱一人
也不愿一生为情所困

黄昏中的女人
是否该放弃为爱去等
情深若已变冷
一切只能空留余恨
到了何时我才能
拥有一个知心的人
让我爱让我疼
他让我爱让我疼
为我擦干多年的泪痕

寒风中只剩我一人
我的爱擦肩去无声
不再问什么是缘份
注定没有爱情的根

不再守候一扇空门
没有爱情的根

The lyric is really nice and touching, right? I feel as if i'm the woman that is featured in this song. I know that i'm really extreme. Well, coz my love life is really blank and empty. Hope you guys will understand.