单身男子日记簿

单身男子日记簿第二十二则

2008-11-24T20:25:00.002+08:00

A drastic change happened in my life, which really gave me a wake-up call. I did something really wrong and I wanna redeem myself. I hope I had......

I really did lots of soul searching for my character. For sure, it's because of my weakness that resulted in the drastic change. Believe it or not, I'll really working on my character.

I don't know what will happen after this change. Will everything be changed? I really don't want it to happen, because it means a lot to me.

I think only 1-2 people will understand what I'm writing. For those who understand, I really hope that as time goes, everything will be diluted and things will get better. I really don't want to lose anything, it means a lot to me. Hope that it also means a lot to you.

单身男子日记簿第二十一则

2008-11-18T17:39:00.002+08:00

Vacuum my blog that is covered with dust.... How long have I not blogged? Honestly speaking, there are too many things for me to write for this week(2 weeks).

I always try to know more about myself, because I really don't know who I'm. I do read quite a bit of books on virgos. I do get quite a lot of it. The book really analyses my character, at least I know a little more.

I do touch on chinese zodiac sign books at times, but I just don't find it accurate for myself. However, when I help couples to 对八字,or individuals to analyse their characters and lives, it tends to be quite accurate. I'm able to analyse characters of others, but not myself, ironic right?

People always say that they understand me, but I don't even know myself well, how is it possible for you to understand me?

Do you all realise that? Normally people who don't know you very well understand you, and not those who really know you a lot. If we think back, do we recall when we always tell our parents that they don't understand us?

I just happened to read from my emo friend blog. He feels emo coz he is single now and all his friends are busy. I really understand his feeling, coz i'm going through what he is going. People who say that they understand, sorry it's bullshit! Unless you never date b4, then I believe you. It's like, you are saying that you understand how vegetables taste because you only eat vege for few days, to someone who is a vegetarian for life? Gosh, how you understand the person?

Believing people who have told you things that belong to 2 extremes is really difficult. It's juz like someone told you b4 why you never watch this movie b4? It's like so HIT.

Then after that, the person told you, no lah, it doesn't matter. It's not as if the whole world has watched it.

Who can believe such type of people?

单身男子日记簿第二十则

2008-11-01T22:32:00.002+08:00

Hey, i'm back. I managed to master my cycling. Actually it's more of a recap bah, coz i kinda learned it 4 yrs back. My friends were saying that, you only took like 1 hr of recap. haha....

You know I'm so unlucky, I lost my phone yesterday. I can't believe it. Thank god that I never lose much of my contacts, coz i did use another phone few mths back and I saved most of my number over there.

Anyway, I know many ppl shoot me with words, both intentionally and unintentionally. I tell you all wat, I'll block them all..

单身男子日记簿第十九则

2008-10-28T20:47:00.002+08:00

I'm back. Paiseh, last nite my dear friend came and stayed over, so never really use the computer.

Anyway, I've nth much to say today. I just felt that 1 mistake you made, it can bring about lots of implication

Another thing is that you can't assume everyone has the same standard. For example, a grp of maths critic can't assume that everyone is good with number. They can be shocked at people who don't know how to solve calculus problem, just because you know how to do so. It'll be so unfair, you see.

单身男子日记簿第十九则

2008-10-26T11:08:00.002+08:00

Today is blogging in the morning haha.... I'm kinda waiting for my mahjong session, so choose to blog now.

Hmmm.... my friend(you know who you are) is going to do something impt soon, jia you! Honestly speaking, I'm so envious of you. Dunno what my chance will come. It's okay, don't have to tell me "it is soon"..... Coz there isn't a definition for "soon", like 1 yr, 1 day etc...

Anyway, you know why people say 一脚踏两船(1 leg on 2 boats) for people who 2 timed? It's because our gf or bf is a boat on the sea. Some people just have lots of boats on the sea, some bastards or bitches choose to own all of them. All these people can just go and die! Some people don't have any boats on the sea, they hope to have submarines that will float one day. However, are there any submarines for those people?

单身男子日记簿第十八则

2008-10-25T21:45:00.002+08:00

OMG, how long have I not touched my blog? Paiseh, for these week, i'm either sick or back home very late. You can beat me up if you want.

I'm happy that I know how to play the 2x2 & 3x3 rubiks cube le. Haha, I know it's nothing to be proud of because many ppl, even young kids know how to play. Hmm... maybe i shld learn 4x4 when I have time, but I know it's not easy.

I wanna let how to cycle actually(haha, I know it's funny to know that a 20 yrs old guy doesn't know how to cycle). I did learn cycling 4 yrs back, but when I kinda mastered it, I only cycled for 5 mins. I'm really unsure if I know how to cycle. I don't care how bad I fall or how tough it's, I gonna learn. I think it's impt. If ppl go to parks and they cycle, you will be so lonely. Then, Kaihoe you are right, it's romantic to cycle with someone. So I really have to learn that, if not what will happen if I go park with my love ones? You are really right with what you say.... It really makes sense. I'll update you all if i have learned it...

单身男子日记簿第十七则

2008-10-16T20:55:00.002+08:00

I was just revising my Japanese just now. Gosh, for the past few days, I never touch them at all. Thank god what I learned last week wasn't that difficult. I'm feeling a little bit gulity coz I'm just studying my notes 1 day before the test and the preparation for my tml's lesson.

Last few weeks, I studied almost everyday, but not this week. Why? The reason is that I'm mastering the rubik's cube and I finally mastered it, though I still needa take sometime. Slowly bah, I'm training my speed now.

Haha, I needa carry on watching Amazing Race Asia on tv. They are going to hong kong, exciting....

单身男子日记簿第十六则

2008-10-15T20:24:00.002+08:00

Last nite I was outside with my HK friend, so paiseh I never update again. OMG.....

I have been thinking for like 30 mins, dunno what to write actually, until now...

Anyway, I'll just end with 1 sentence, 失望是难免的时候,我觉得非常无助....

单身男子日记簿第十五则

2008-10-13T20:32:00.002+08:00

Today I blogged early. Currently I don't have much things to do, waiting for amazing race at 9pm.

I kinda recalled a song 远走高飞. There is a lyric like "我的心里面安静地不像话". I'm realli afraid that I'm like that. I deal with emotional stuffs like i'm a dead person.

You know what I detest the most in the world? It's unforseen stuffs that make things so dramatic. These are things that keep happening to me. It's like so helpless and nobody likes it. Hence, I'm like so selfish that I don't wanna care. When ppl ask me rgd that, I dun wanna talk becoz I'm afraid that I'll say the wrong things. Like I say, once you have said something, you can't keep it. I always tell myself, when this happens, keep calm no matter what.

Sometimes ppl actually assume too much. Do rmb, we only assume when we study econs. Rmb, don't assume too much in the world, coz not everything is "ceteris paribus" in the word.

I really hope that I can deal with all these things in the world peacefully, fairly and smartly in the world, with someone who is really fated.

What's one of the most hurtful things in the world? It's when unpleasant things btw yourself and friends keep happening and happening, like it never ends. It's hurtful, but i'm alr numbed to the pain, coz no point feeling painful. You really want to resolve things by accepting many facts that aren't fair and stuffs that are ridiculous. No doubt the world is unfair and ridiculous, but seems that nobody is willing to come to terms to the fact. I'm still learning to.

In the process of learning, you'll have done lots of unpleasant things, which make others unhappy. I'm no exception. This is realli frustrating.

单身男子日记簿第十四则

2008-10-12T21:47:00.002+08:00

I don't know how come I have changed so much within 1 week? Maybe some classic lines in the HK drama "Moonlight Resonance" I have heard? Maybe when I chatted with Alena on msn, whereby we exchange lots of philosophy? Maybe all these have enlightened me?

I feel that I'm really less vulnerable to emotion injuries. I feel that I'm really calmer as compared to last time. Hopefully it can stay and it isn't short-termed.

Yup, i'll less vulnerable. Will I cross the line and become cold instead?

单身男子日记簿第十三则

2008-10-11T23:12:00.002+08:00

Sorry for not blogging ytd. Today went out with kaihoe. Thx to this da shao ye who overslept(he was having a flu worx), I got the movie tickets for him. Not only that, I got seats for him in the restaurant. I'm like his servant lor, haha.

I went to a famous jap restaurant(Shoku**). Haha, cannot advertise for any restaurant here. I must say that their mango ice is very nice lor. Many people who ate it before, all were saying that it's nice...... I won't recommend wrongly de.

Then as usual, I played pool with him, omg I almost got 扫光头. Coz I only won like 1 race, out of 5 or 6.(Laugh at me) Then this da shao ye keeps di siao-ing me. He was telling me which ball I shld hit(when he just simply said all the colours). Distraction sia!!!

We went to watch "Connected". I must say that it's really nice. The storyline follows really well and the suspense is really there. The actors and actresses for the show are good, esp Louis Koo I think. This is kinda the first time I saw him acting a blur and kind-hearted guy. Where on earth can you find a guy whereby he is willing to help a stranger to do lots of things, some are even illegal and risky?

Anyway, today I'm really happy. At least I fulfilled a promise to myself! I thought that I could nvr do it, but I did! Hope that I can keep fulfilling this promise to myself every now and then. This promise isn't short-term, it's long term....

单身男子日记簿第十二则

2008-10-09T22:08:00.002+08:00

So sorry guys, I never update my blog yesterday because I was busy with something.

I think I'd learned quite a bit for these few days. I just felt that I really gonna do something about my character. No doubt I'm a perfectionist, but I can't expect everyone to be like me, coz not everyone is a virgo. I do expect too much for many things, perhaps things don't have to be perfect actually. For example, to score an A in an exam, getting 80 marks is good enough. 100 marks isn't necessary.

Do appreciate what is in front of you because of its strength. Gonna remember that don't find fault of things in front of you because of its weakness. It's not easy to do this though.

单身男子日记簿第十一则

2008-10-07T20:53:00.002+08:00

Today is my final day of block leave. I gonna go back to camp tomorrow and complete all the jobs that have piled up since last friday! It's ok actually, because I have ample time to complete it.

Anyway, I was thinking of a 2007 hong kong drama, Heart of Greed(溏心风暴). I remembered someone from the show had said that, trust is the core within the family. In my opinion, not only family, this also applies between friends.

What is the most hurtful things between friends? It's when your friends keep lying to you and issuing your blank cheque(开空头机票). They keep promising you but they never fulfil their promise. Sometimes it's not being petty, it's more of trust and how much your friends are willing to abide to what they say.....

单身男子日记簿第十则

2008-10-06T21:30:00.002+08:00

Today I was doing revision for my Japanese. Guess where I did it? Home, library, Macdonald? No! I did it on an overhead bridge. I did it at such an "unique" place coz I was waiting for my dear friend who was late for like 40 mins.(You know who you are, haha)

Anyway, I was reflecting on myself. People think that i'm understanding, and hence they trust me. Perhaps I really have to live up to my name and control my temper at times. I understand that it can be very irritating. Haha......

Short & sweet for tonite. More updates tml.....

单身男子日记簿第九则

2008-10-05T23:42:00.002+08:00

Many people have to go back to school or work tomorrow, but guess what? I'm on leave!

Actually people are quite shocking about what I did during my childhood, esp as a boy. Do you all know I never play robots during my childhood? Do you know I never play any ball games during my childhood?

What was my toy during my childhood? Sometimes I played my sister's toy, like some dollhouse or something. Most of the time, I dealt with dice, poker cards & mahjong. Haha, thank god I'm not a hardcore gambler.

Ball games? Lol, I never played basketball & soccer for my entire laugh, haha! People may find it shocking and funny, so be it. My life is indeed very shocking for many people, but come on, pls don't 少见多怪!

People always ask me not to say this, not to say that. It's like I'm having some 封口令(FYI, unofficial, not agreed by law)It's not like some secrets or something. Many people know that I don't reveal secrets. Sometimes people are right, there are somethings that I shldn't say. Then fine, I will never say anything related. However, then people were saying that I'm being too serious, I don't have to do such things, as long as what I say isn't too over.

Can I know the definition for over? I've checked on the internet, it meanshttp://dictionary.reference.com/browse/over (refer to this website). I feel that different people have different definition, so to play safe and obey my 封口令, I won't say anything related to it. I'm a man of words! Like when you ask me not to talk about mouse, I won't even talk about cat, 12 chinese zodiac signs, biceps(nicknamed mouse), walt disney, and so on.....

单身男子日记簿第八则

2008-10-04T21:39:00.002+08:00

I just realised that this is my 100th post, after 3 yrs, haha. Today I went to bugis and met up with friend. Then we really have nth to do and we went bugis village. I think I really love that place. The things are so cheap. I even walked all the way to waterloo street's guanyin temple. I never went there before. I gonna go back there to shop. Guess what, I saw mediacorp filming some variety shows. I saw Pornsak and Quan yifeng. I was like, omg, there were so many people and it was so crowded.

Anyway, I really believe in the fact that a leopard can't change its spot.

单身男子日记簿第七则

2008-10-03T23:27:00.002+08:00

I'm back from my japanese lesson today, shag, but I still know that I've to blog, because being sleepy and shag doesn't own the world.

Today is really a dramatic day, many things happened, and I really see the ugly side of human

1. People who're dating, but still going around flirting, having flings and even worst, sleeping with others.

2. People who keep complaining that their dating frequency is very low, whereby they already have like 3-4 gf when they are only 20 yrs old.

3. People who go to club, kiss & hug people that you don't know,esp those who are already dating.

Doesn't it make these people like 过街老鼠, esp the 1st 2 category? If you see them , will you feel like using ur slippers to beat them up? I'm like, these people really 犯贱. I really despise them......

I'm not pin-pointing anyone. It's nothing personal. I just hate people who are like that.

Sometimes, it's really painful to make decision. You are afraid of hurting yourself, and also the other party. If you are able to have a win-win situation, it's really difficult. I'm really not good enough to make such decisions....

I feel suffocated....

单身男子日记簿第六则

2008-10-02T20:26:00.003+08:00

Today I went for MA for my knee and I did scaling for my teeth. OMG, I never scaled my teeth for around 2 yrs(unhealthy)...

I'm just looking through some primary school english book regarding how to classify things under he/she/it.

He--- A male
She--- A female
It--- animal/non-living thing.

I just realised there are objects in the world whereby I don't know where to classify it under. I recalled when I was sec 2, I asked my english teacher how I classify our pet(if we have one). She told me"You can classify your cat under it. However, if you are close to your cat, you can classify it under her sex".

Do you realise I use the word sex? Some people aren't awared what is the difference between sex and gender?

Sex(Not talking about intercourse): Judging you, if you are a male or female, with the type of sexual organs you have.

Gender: What you think you are mentally.

After knowing all these, do you find it difficult to classify some objects under he, she or it? I do have some difficulty.

When we watch those war films, some people are despicable and cruel, people tend to say that they are inhumane. Do we classify them under it?

It seems that he, she and it isn't easy to classify them under the correct category

单身男子日记簿第五则

2008-10-01T22:44:00.003+08:00

Today is a public holiday. Went out with my family for lunch and dinner. I started to watch the most recent Hong Kong drama, Moonlight Resonance(家好月圆).I only watched 15% of it and I got addicted. That show had the highest percentage of HK population watching,果然不是浪得虚名.

I'm so happy that I can fly back to Hong Kong at the end of the year. I can finally take a break. Hopefully after I go back to Hong Kong, I won't feel so sad....

Still trying to learn pool. I have improved, but still below my expectation, because there are still people around me whereby their skill is so much better than me. Most of the time, I defeated them because I was lucky and they were unlucky. Hope that I can at least win many people with my own skill and also with a little bit of luck... Jia You!

单身男子日记簿第四则

2008-09-30T20:39:00.002+08:00

A long awaited public holiday after so long. Hmm.... seesm that I don't have plans for tomorrow. Perhaps I go out with family.

Many of my friends feel that I'm getting more and more emo.... Haha, really? I'm not sure. Perhaps I'm listening to lots of older chinese songs and the lyrics for those songs are very touching. I really feel for those songs.

Have you all realised, there are some statements made by your friends, though you claimed that you have forgiven him/her, you still can't forget what he/she says? I do encounter this sometimes. It's not like I'm being very petty or something, is just that what he/she tries to say is very serious,hurting and insulting....

Anyway, we really have to beware of what we say sometimes. We can't swallow it after we have said it.

单身男子日记簿第三则

2008-09-29T20:26:00.002+08:00

I feel like travelling suddenly. I feel like travelling alone actually. Why? I just can't find anyone to travel with me. Having too high hopes on people will make me feel very disappointed. I'm telling you all these because I really felt that before. So, why don't I travel alone?

There are few places that I really feel like going.

In Asia

I feel like going Vietnam, both Hanoi and Ho Chi Minh City. Perhaps I really love history, especially history in the 20th century. So, in South East Asia, this is one of the countries that I really want to visit. This place seems to be a more realistic place which I can go.

I also feel like going Tibet. It seems that it's really a mysterious place. However, that place has to adapt to altitude sickness, which is very tough.

In Europe

How can I not visit Moscow, Russia? I'll really want to step on Red Square one day. In addition, Russian history is also a very important part in the 20th century.

I also feel like going Dubronvik, Croatia. For those who don't know where is it, it's a small city in Croatia. I watched the amazing race and that place is full of lots of city wall, like China. That place also places an important role during the Yugoslavia civil war in the 1990s.

I can't really think of other places. Maybe I'll like to go Cape Town, South Africa, esp Cape of Good Hope. I'll also love to go India, especially Kolkata & Mumbai.....

单身男子日记簿第二则

2008-09-28T21:19:00.002+08:00

I just read the papers regarding PSLE. Omg, their questions are getting tougher and tougher. They have published 2 qns that are found in some other school's papers. Thank god I know how to do it(nothing to be proud about? haha). That is different, I went through O & A level. I thought that those qns are secondary school standard?

I really have to buck up when I'm in university. As the education system gets tougher, your peers will be smarter, which means that competition is more fierce. My aim is to graduate with 1st class honour. It's very tough, but I gonna make it! I got a chance to study in local university, so I have to ensure that I don't waste this chance. I only live once and study in university once.

People may think that I'm very competitive, even in leisure games. Perhaps I'm born in an environment with many strong competitors. Actually, I'm just going to adapt to the reality world, whereby people are all competing. 对敌人仁慈就是对自己残酷, I really believe in this.

Friends are getting busier. Studying, working & dating. So good and envious. What am I doing now? Idling in NS. I'm thinking of learning something new, coz I'm having more free time but my friends are getting busier....

Starting things anew(单身男子日记簿第一则)

2008-09-27T20:59:00.003+08:00

I think I never blogged for months. I withdrew for a period of time because I was considering if I want to delete this blog. This blog left me with lots of happy and unhappy memories.

Anyway, I will start blogging again. I doubt I'll write very emotional stuff anymore. I have also changing a new title for my blog, from "love depends a lot on fate" to "单身男子日记簿". If you don't understand the meaning, it means that the diary of a man who is single, which is me...

I'm not trying to be emo for being single for 20 yrs. No doubt, I was quite emo previously. However, just carry on and be single until the gal appears. What can I do? I don't want to be with someone that I don't really like.

Another good friend of mine is going to be attached soon, congrats man! He wanna date so, his hope comes true. Hmm... how many friends of mine are still single? Gonna find more things to do.

I start to learn japanese, it's really quite interested, learning something new. I think that it's useful. Most imptly, I can keep my mind working, so that I will have the momentum studying next yr.

Seems that I can only work on my brain, something practical I can work towards to, coz i'm not really that smart mah.

Being single, is it bad or good? Dunno ah, coz i never have the feeling of attached yet. Let's see when will i know....

Back with my philosophy in life

2008-06-24T21:52:00.002+08:00

I'm finally blogging. Perhaps I also update another blog, hence neglecting this.

At least I think i kinda went through my depressed life. At least I still get unhappy from time to time, but well, life has to go on, right?

I always tell myself, try to lock up my unhappy stuff into the archive in my mind and don't take it out anymore. But sumtimes, i'm realli afraid tat the capacity will get full sooner or later. Then, everything gets spilled out and the effect may be worse. Hopefully that there are some removable hard disks.(Sounded like computer) How I wish that the removable hard disk is like shit which i can just pass it out of my body...(Sounded a bit uncivilised i know)

No doubt ppl don't understand me, but I'm glad that i understand ppl.

I just realised something, it's always your close friends that hurt you the most......

*Just read frm some magazines: sit-up hurts your back. No doubt it trains ur abs, but u have alr hurt your back when u have successfully trained ur abs....

I'm depressed & aimless

2008-05-19T23:36:00.002+08:00

Like I say, people then to have more inspiration to blog when they are in a bad mood, especially in a freaking foul mood. That's what i'm in now.

I hurt my knee, is given a 1 week mc. Happy? Not at all. Imagine i gonna stay at home, facing the 4 walls, with the computer and tv. Tv is boring, computer isn't fun. What can i do? I'm juz like a handicap staying at home.

Juz felt very depressed of many things that had happened, and also things that happen recently that are linked with unhappy stuffs in the past. Today one of my friends intended to visit me, but juz bangseh me in the end without a call or sms. I'm damn pissed. And becoz of this incident, i totally can't trust ppl at all, not even myself. I always tell myself that i needa be happy, but did i?

I'm not happy at all when i'm going to recover. Why? If i'm in pain, at least i have some distraction for my depressing life. But when i'm not in pain, i juz get damn depressed. Perhaps u say that i'm trying to avoid my life, but who isn't?

Sometimes juz feel that why i needa suffer all these? Perhaps like some of u think, i'm a bad guy. Perhaps i'm. Or maybe i did sumting wrong in my past life?

I'm sick of ppl asking me to 看开. It's easier to be said than to be done.

I juz desperately need accompany at times. Who will be there? Nobody....

I juz feel that i'm living in a world whereby nobody understands me at all. What for living on earth then? I know that there is only 1 way to fully relieve myself frm all these depression, but shld i? I'm still thinking

*At the point of the time that i blog, i mean what i say. If you think that i'm trying to catch attention, so be it....

LIFE IS HORRIBLE

我仿佛回到了以前

2008-05-18T11:56:00.002+08:00

我突然又想写部落格，可能是有灵感吧！

一个人困在家一点都不好受，尤其是在我行动不方便的时候。我本身解压的方式就是听着MP3在路上漫无目的地走。我现在连这么简单的事情都做不到。

刹那间觉得自己回到高一，也就是3年前。当时的我很不开心，因为觉得自己的生活缺少了很多。虽然当时在别人眼中的我是一位不需为许多事情烦恼的人，尤其是学业，但是我一点也活得不快乐。

现在的我也是这样。人们羡慕我懂得算命、有个温暖的家、可以读大学、甚至有机会拿奖学金，但是又怎样？我还是一点也不快乐。一生何求？我也不知道。我只想快快乐乐的过生活，不过怎么做？再加上现在我伤了旧患，行动很不方便，想在街上走走，从中得到快乐的能力都没有。再加上我身边有很多信不过、不了解我的人，我也不懂找谁倾诉。有时，我也不想因为我的情绪不好而影响到我的朋友。不过我该怎么做呢？人们都看开，这句话我听过无数次了，可是一点启发都没有。

不知道我怎么才会有启发呢？

Decision isn't easy to make

2008-05-18T00:58:00.003+08:00

I'm finally coming back to blog. Ziheng, you can read a new entry frm me. Perhaps this is the long awaited english entry that many of u wanted me to write. Anw, i feel that writing in any language means the same to me, coz i juz wanna release my emotions and so on.

Anw, i'm now on crutches as many of you have known, coz i juz aggravated my knee injury. And honestly, i'm a little pissed abt that. Why? Perhaps you can come and ask me, coz it's some very sensitive issue.

Had been feeling emo for the past few weeks. Why? A lot of decision to make, though the answer is juz a yes or no. For my love life, decision has to be made. I just felt that i'm like fighting thru a terminal disease. Well, ppl that have nvr gotten into a state whereby u have nvr dated b4 won't understand. And also f0r those who nvr realli put in lots of effort on a gal b4, u also won't understand the situation i'm in. Come on, i know it's shocking that i nvr dated b4. Laugh at me everyone.....

I nvr dated b4, so what?

若我能坐上时光机

2008-04-02T20:40:00.002+08:00

相信大家希望能够坐上时光机，当然我也不例外。如果能够坐上时光机，我们能做些什么？如果是我...
1. 我想换了我JC所读的科目。
2. 我想在15岁时就学会打扮。
3.我会比较带眼看人。
4.我想在15岁从新处理一件对我影响很深的大事。
5.我不想一次次地伤害我的家人。
6.可能在一些事情中我不会心软。
7.或许再追女生时不该那么犹豫。
8.或许在12岁时不该动手术，因为浪费家里的钱。

其实还有很多的，但是记在心里好了。毕竟世界上没有时光机这回事。(*说了这句好像在打自己的嘴巴)

我真的笨过人

2008-04-01T21:40:00.002+08:00

我真的笨过人，因为我又被别人骗了。的确，我真的笨过人。有时被某人害，我还傻傻的帮该人。我只能怪自己太心软。我没做过坏事，但为什么有这种对待？

我也不在乎我天生的缺陷，只希望过点好日子。感谢我有一个温暖的家！只是觉得被一群建筑师很无理得对待。他们做事真的没有point.他们之所以是建筑师是因为他们很会把自己的快乐建立在别人的痛苦上。我不否认我也有错。只是我觉得他们这样对我真的很没有理由

不过，我伤心也没什么用，没人在乎。那群人还是活得开开心心，继续把我当做土地来建筑。希望会有那么一天，他们会跟我有同样的遭遇。这样，他们就会彻底地了解孔子口中的“己所不欲、勿施于人。”

快乐时抱着时，那是至死不渝朋友？

2008-03-25T21:14:00.002+08:00

我又用华文来写博客，为什么？心情不好咯！这几天心情不好，理由也不想多说了！这几天，我感谢鼓励我的朋友，尤其是家铭和Lena。我心情最不好，他们在我身边。还有在晚上，福宽和海垣陪我聊天，前者还说过来陪我，不过我不好意思啦！谢谢！

刚刚听到关菊英的“讲不出声”，就听到这一句“快乐时抱着时，那是至死不渝朋友”。有看到我在标题那里打了问号吗？我不禁在想，我们在快乐时抱过很多朋友。不过有多少个真的是至死不渝朋友呢？有的朋友转眼之间就不见了。有时朋友犯了一点错，甚至大错，就不再联络，见到面也会尴尬。

有时是很想原谅对方，不过是觉得自己已经自己的本分。而且若对方想挽回友情，可能要主动一点啊。想想，若自己走过去说，“我原谅你”，好像不太对啊！似乎是对方走过来道歉，而自己搭搭对方的肩膀说：“算了，我已经不再放在心上。过去不重要，最重要是未来。”这样似乎比较像话啊。

我对世界绝望了！

2008-03-23T21:23:00.004+08:00

昨天抢麦过了，没进！无可否认是失望的，因为对不起很多人、对不起自己。我对不起为我牺牲的当兵朋友。你们白牺牲了。我害了你们。早知道我陪你们受罚。

我也对不起自己，因为我戒口了几个星期，就是为了我的声音比较好听。结果，我唱得还比去年(我毫无准备)烂。

此外，我被跟我合唱的朋友放鸽子。虽然不是他的错，但是我挺不开心的。最近常被人放鸽子，已经对很多人失去信任。突然对世界失去信心!似乎身边的人都不喜欢我，可能我是个大坏蛋。似乎我的朋友们已经没有人会理我、关心我！有时我觉得，我在我朋友心中的地位是什么？一个让人凌辱、取笑的对象？一个让人在背后指指点点的对象？一个让人排挤的对象？一个很烦的朋友？如果是的话，我宁愿我不存在在这个世界上！

沉默是金(Silence is golden)

2008-03-15T11:10:00.002+08:00

有时仔细想想，上天赋予我们说话的能力，目的是什么呢？我自己觉得是为了要交多点好朋友，以及有需要时表达自己想说的话。经过那么多年，相信大家都滥用了这个上天赋予我们的能力。渐渐地，人们开始利用自己说话的能力来害人，包括恶言重伤、人生攻击、散播谣言、虚报假案等。或许就像是许多哲学家所说的“人之初、性本恶”。

虽然曾志伟曾经在1998年红星大奖有说过“人该讲的时候就要讲、不该讲的时候就尽量少讲”，但是问心那句，谁真的做得到呢？要做到沈默是金，谈何容易啊？沈默是金已经是一种快“失传”的美德。

刚刚在杂志上看到许冠杰的专访，里头有提到他跟张国荣合唱的“沈默是金”。我不禁上网查阅它的歌词：

杰:夜风凛凛独回望旧事前尘
是以往的我充满怒
愤诬告与指责积压着满肚气不忿
对谣言反应甚为着紧

荣:受了教训得了书经的指引
现已看得透不再自困
但觉有分数不再像以往那般笨
抹泪痕轻快笑着行

合:冥冥中都早注定你富或贫
是错永不对真永是真
任你怎说安守我本份
始终相信沉默是金

杰:是非有公理慎言莫冒犯别人

荣:遇上冷风雨休太认真

杰:自信满心里休理会讽刺与质问

合:笑骂由人洒脱地做人

荣:受了教训得了书经的指引
现已看得透不再自困

杰:但觉有分数不再像以往那般笨
抹泪痕轻快笑着行

合:冥冥中都早注定你富或贫
是错永不对真永是真
任你怎说安守我本份
始终相信沉默是金

荣:是非有公理慎言莫冒犯别人

杰:遇上冷风雨休太认真

荣:自信满心里休理会讽刺与质问

合:笑骂由人洒脱地做人
合:少年人洒脱地做人
合:继续行洒脱地做人

我多希望自己能够做得到“沉默是金”，不过有怕因此被人欺负、玩弄。人难做啊！

没有快乐起来的理由

2008-03-12T20:30:00.002+08:00

人生真奇妙。短短的几天就可以改变一个人。

我觉得自己在短短的一个礼拜就变了很多，可能是经历的许多。突然之间，似乎觉得我身边连一个了解我的人都没有。有时想找一个诉苦的对象也没有。心里也因此常常觉得不舒服。

刚刚听了“溏心风暴”的主题曲。有一句听了真的感触很多，就是“如何从委曲中再相信人”。有的人觉得我一直受到很多委屈，常常被人欺负、把我的良心当狗肺。我也不懂自己是不是受委屈。或许只是我不介意忍让吧！或许是我天生就得被人欺负吧。这样的话，我也只好认命咯！

刹那之间觉得我人生很没有希望、一片黑暗。似乎我没有信得过的人，没有靠得住的人。如果这段时间我不笑，并不是因为我没礼貌，而是我没有快乐起来的理由......

原来...

2008-03-09T00:33:00.002+08:00

原来，我唱歌的方法一直是错的。我一直没有把声音丢出去。而且，我真的不能再吃甜、炸、辣的食物。如果真的要参加抢麦，就要这样做。妈呀，我该牺牲吗？这是我的“歌唱老师”说的，天啊！怎么办啊？而且，选了一首歌又觉得不适合，选了再选......“咸”。

对了，A水准刚放榜！考得好的，恭喜你们，终于如释重负了。考得比较差的人，记得“条条道路通罗马！”

又过了一天

2008-02-24T00:40:00.002+08:00

刚刚记得卡通片小甜甜的主题曲“一天又一天、一年又一年”。现在在当兵的我真的希望一天又一天、一年又一年的过去，因为很“咸”啊。

今天下了报馆，跟思蕾、祉澎、家铭、捷升(好久不见了)等哈啦。我跟家铭聊了一段时间，很认真地讨论了一些事情。宇翔走了过来，感觉很tense，就走开了。不好意思哦！然后，我很kei-po的陪捷升、家铭拍大声讲。家铭投篮还投得似模似样。摄影师把他拍的很帅，他一定很高兴。

诗琳问了家铭跟我是否热爱运动。家铭说他无可奈何之下才会运动。我就说我不喜欢，然后家铭帮我解释了我的伤势，也就是为何我不爱、也不能运动的原因。此外，他也问我伤势有好多吗？谢谢你记得，对我的关心。我还是老样子。他比一些人好很多。有的人当我脚不舒服时，就说，“你当兵的耶”、“你比女生还弱”。我也没什么好说，只是心里很不舒服而已。所以，

最近发生了很多事，而且是接二连三的发生。就像张震岳一首歌的歌词，“也许是上帝给我一个试炼只是这伤口需要花点时间”。到底需要花多久呢，我不知道。谁能告诉我啊？

I'm dumb

2008-02-15T22:10:00.001+08:00

I don't believe that i've been kept in the dark for mths abt this. That is horrible to know abt that man. I'm realli dumb.

CNY

2008-02-10T23:09:00.000+08:00

Happy new yr guys. This yr is the one of the few yrs that i realli gambled with my friends. Actually, everything started in cec's house. Started to play mahjong with silei, yuneng(cec initially) and tangjie. Initially, I won quite a bit, but after a while, perhaps the pace is slower than the pace I normally played, so a little bit sianz le lah, then juz throw the tiles anyhow lor. But anw, this is the first time I played mahjong(with money) with txy.

Anw, my luck came in blackjack. It was kinda a guy's blackjack. At the beginning, i lost quite a bit, everyone still bet $1,$2. But my luck came and i keep on black jack & "5 dragons", after choosing a good feng-shui place. Most imptly, thx to jiaming, and i made him stay beside me with the courtesy of SGD5 dollars, coz i know he "wang" me. Then, i won already $45 that day. I was damn shocked coz it was the first time i won that much in blackjack. Thx to what my dad had taught me:"In order to win big bucks, u must be the dealer or banker"

Anw, I juz started to feel that I can't realli trust many ppl ard me.....

好伤心、好错乱

2008-01-31T20:45:00.000+08:00

我已经很久没有那么伤心过了。再加上伤害我的是我的一位好朋友，我更加伤心。

我知道我的朋友当晚很生气、伤心，就因为他误会了，就把火焰点起了。我就被他一直一直地骂。此外，他还一直说了许多贬低自己的话。也就是这样，他在我面前发了很大的脾气。老实说，我也不是说非常怪他，因为我了解他当时的确非常地愤怒。不过，他真的没有必要把我说到那么的过分，把我从认识他第一天开始的不满一直算、算、算。难道我在你心中是这样的吗？我们曾经有过的快乐时光，你根本都不放在心上？我真的很伤心、简直是心碎了。现在很错乱，不懂以后会怎样？我不敢去想。

I'm back frm hongkong

2008-01-29T22:30:00.000+08:00

Hey everyone,

I'm back after a short but sweet trip in hong kong. And I realli made full use of this week to shop, eat and play. I bought lots of things which include:

1. more than 10 t-shirts(both long sleeves and short sleeves)

2. more than 5 necklaces

3. 2 pair of fashionable glasses

4. 1 pair of black sport shoes

5. 2 pair of jeans

6. Food for u guys.

Haha, u all may think that i spent a lot, but i can tell u all, i spent ard S$400 for all these.

And i went for my cousin's wedding. It was realli grand, coz i heard that the preparation fee was very expensive.

Anyway, i played mahjong in hk and i lost most of them, sianz... But at least i picked up the skill after so long.

That's abt all to summarise. Lastly, let's have a qn to ponder

到底是一段婚姻(or relationship)维系着两人的爱情，还是两人的爱情维系这一段婚姻(or relationship)呢？

I'm on a vacation

2008-01-20T19:28:00.000+08:00

Hey everyone,
Just to tell u guys that i'm now back in hometown, which is hongkong. Although this time round is only a 1 week's vacation, it's very precious.I can put down everything, frm army to TXY logistics. I can just have fun.

Anyway, i muz realli thank junhua to send me off at 6am. I feel a little bad coz when he arrived, i must go into the departure gate. So sry but becoz my flight is already"GateClosing", i muz run in already.

I'll realli miss my friends and my brothers in singapore. Anw, i'll be back on 27th jan.

For anyone, if u want anything frm hongkong, u can sms to my singapore hp no. Tell me what u want and ur budget bah.

I'm going to play mahjong le. FYI, I went to try a western suit for my cousin's wedding on sat, and i realli love it :)

若选择踏上这一步，或许就是永远了。

2008-01-06T22:39:00.000+08:00

不晓得我何时变得如此情绪化，或许是被我身边的朋友们印象吧。我从来不懂EMO是什么意思，知道从我的一些EMO朋友的口中知道了。我仿佛觉得自从我懂什么EMO之后，之后，我就变得很EMO。

这段时期(1-2月了吧)心情都不太好。尽管我有PMS(不过我是男的)，也该过了。或许是最近经历了很多不愉快的事。

我最近在想，是我出了问题呢？还是身边的人出了问题？或许双方面都出了问题吧，因为孤掌难鸣嘛。

我不晓得我哪根经出了问题，我好想做一个决定。有的朋友反对我！我了解，因为若我踏上这一步，可能要后悔也来不及了。不过，若我选择了这个决定，可能我会好受一些。不过，看看我周围的人，似乎他们都很想我做这个决定。我该如何处理呢？

Merry Merry Christmas, Lonely Lonely Christmas/借酒真的可以烧愁吗？

2007-12-26T14:32:00.000+08:00

刚刚我家办过圣诞派对。我很高兴，很多人赏脸来我家打牌、哈啦！这次的圣诞节是我最难忘的一次吧！这或许是我过得比较不快乐的。这个月很多事发生在我身上，再加上家人不在新加坡，心里觉得非常空虚。

我在派对中喝多了(其实不多)，说了很多怪怪的话，不过应该没有得罪人。不过，我竟然因为喝了酒，做出了一件我很久没做的事---哭！我说出了我不开心的原因。我或许让某人很难做、不开心。其实，如果我能够控制，不知道我是否该把我当天的话说出口。不过，我说了之后，我觉得比较舒服。但是，我不知道别人会否感到难堪。我太自私了吧！

我不开心的其中一个理由，有的人会觉得很怪。我竟然因为友情上的问题而伤心！很多人觉得一个大男生，为何会为这样的事而难过。不过，我自己觉得，因为非常珍惜该段友情，我把对方在我心中的地位放得挺高，所以我的反应会比较异常(for a guy)。我这段友情的前景会是怎样，我刚刚为自己占卜。我看了结果，我有点惊讶，因为那是我从来没有意料过的结果！我觉得我还是走一步算一步吧！无可否认，我很难掩盖我的失意。我了解我好朋友的立场，或许我目前比较难接受。我可能还需要时间，就当时我们友谊之间的考验。没经历过考验的友谊并非真正的友谊。

最后，握要感谢当天来我家陪我的人，尤其是：
1。唐婕--是你提议的点子，谢谢！

2。祉澎--谢谢你一直在当晚陪伴我！尽管我在厕所吐、发酒疯的时候，你也一直在我身边帮我、开解我。

3。宇辉--谢谢你陪我emo，听了我说了很多很多。我也更加从你这位年轻小伙子(我好像只老你2年半)身上学到了很多，也了解你的心声。我们互相开解、真的是一对好兄弟难得可以做到的事。加油！

4。其他有在我身边陪我的男生--谢谢你听我说了很多怪怪的话，辛苦你们了。

5。芷欣、思蕾--谢谢你们一直叫我不要喝、不要喝，不然我会继续发酒疯的。

经过这件事，我一直在想，借酒真的可以消愁吗？

When i start to see the light of hope, it disappears in the shortest time possible

2007-11-25T22:38:00.000+08:00

Out of a sudden, many hopes that i have had vanished. I don't want to talk abt what is it. Just feel very low which i feel that nobody knows abt that. I just feel that it's really a pity that things turn out to be like that. Perhaps i have too high hopes or expectations. Perhaps i'm too dominating at times. Perhaps i over-cared for others and it's not necessary, but i must say that i don't care for everyone. I think that if you worth the care that i give you all, i will give you the care. I don't have any motives abt that. Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps......

If we know everything in the world, there won't be so many perhaps. However, for some things, it's still better to be kept in the dark, perhaps.

Being helpful is good?

2007-11-18T20:33:00.000+08:00

I just realised that being helpful may not do me good. I always try to help my good friends as far as I can. I juz feel that some ppl juz take it for granted. When i help them to do something, and the result isn't what they want, they dun even appreciate it and even show some attitude to you. Sometimes it's your good friends who are doing that to you. I dunno what are they thinking of. I juz feel very sad abt that, coz i tried my very best to help them and yet they don't realli appreciate when they do.

Well, i juz wanna tell ppl that help is meant to be appreciated and not to be taken for granted.

I must do some soul searching whether shld i be a helpful freak.

A special letter to my buddy

2007-11-09T22:05:00.000+08:00

This letter is written to one of my good friends. I won't mention who he is.

To my dearest buddy,

I know that you have encountered something that has a great impact in your life. At that particular instance, you may feel that everything is over.

I understand your feeling. Indeed it's really very sad, but life really has to carry on. I admire your ambitious heart and passion, but there is still a difference btw passion and reality. Though it's still possible for you to pursue your dream, but how great is the chance? You shld know it better than anyone else. Perhaps your thinking is that I must try even the possibility is 0.1%.

I agree with you that if you don't try, how will you know that i can't do it? Well, have you thought of the sacrifices you make if you try? Is it worth it?

Perhaps you are still very young, you may not fully understand what i mean. Or even you understand, you may not agree with me. As a buddy of yours, i really hope that you can think twice, thrice and so on. I remember you telling me that you will give up your studies for your dream. That's really a foolish decision becoz studying is still the priority in your life now.

I have analysed with you all the possible outcomes if you choose to pursue your dream. You may think that something juz won't happen. Perhaps you haven't fully seen the world. Everything can happen. I quote you an example: I had tried my very best to maintain a friendship with a friend few yrs back with my time. I do screw up a lot for my studies and I tell myself that maybe god will repay me with the friendship. Eventually, i lost the friendship and also screw up my exams. I didn't get anything good in repay. Perhaps you think that lost-lost situation wouldn't happen, but in reality, it does.

I just want to tell you that don't feel depressed anymore. I understand that you are going for a holiday. Enjoy it! Hope that you can stay happy after that. Actually many ppl are envious that you have almost everything that a guy desires. So, why do you feel sad juz becoz of a single thing? If you are allowed to choose btw your dream and all the positive quanlities you have, which one will u choose? For me, i'll definitely choose the 2nd choice.

I hope that you'll take good care of yourself. I admit that i'm quite worried about you coz i have nvr seen you like that.

Buddy, you are still young, you have a very long way to go. Who knows, you may encounter something in the future change your dream. Actually sometimes in life, the more you pursure, the more you won't get it. This is even sung in a Cantonese song : “寻遍了却偏失去，未盼却在手”In life, many things are like that. You will start to realise that sooner or later.

From your buddy
Billy (9/11)

My movie

2007-10-23T21:47:00.001+08:00

Hey guys, recently my life is still ARMY,ARMY & ARMY. Anyway recently i had a little to share abt my army life. I went to help my sgt to be his actor in his safety video. I even performed lots of stunts.

1st stunt: I was told to be sandwiched btw 2 land rovers(like a jeep) and because the land rover in front of me which had a faulty brake moved backwards, my face was crashed. FYI, The dist btw the 2 land rovers is the length of my head. So imagine, if the land rover moves somemore, my face is gone.

2nd stunt: This is what i called a stunt. I was told to "drive"(I didn't drive personally) in a land rover which had a faulty door. In addition, I didn't wear safety belt. So after driving for a while, i flew off the land rover. I was told to jump off the land rover and roll on the ground. Then another land rover that was upcoming crashed me when i was lying on the floor. I believed i repeated this scene for like 5 times sia. That was really unforgettable.

And i heard that this video had won a 2nd place. That was totally a relief.

quotes frm "famous people"

2007-10-15T21:25:00.000+08:00

Hey guys, i have juz thought of some quotes from famous ppl. They are not those celebrities or scientists. They are quotes frm my friends, as well as myself. These are the quotes that i always rmb

1. From junhua, his thoughts on love and friends.
“人生仿佛是在吃很多顿饭。朋友是米饭、情人是菜肴。在一顿饭中，米饭是不可缺少的。菜肴虽然美味，但是不是不可缺少的。"

2. From junhua, his thoughts on friends.
"如果有缘，不需要刻意见面。尽管失去联络，还会要机会相见。若无法再见面，这代表着我们没有缘分。”

3. From yuhui, his thoughts on our friendship
"No girls, no blood, just brotherhood."

4. From aileen, her thoughts on love
"There are pretty gals(like me) who are single and there are ugly and fat guys who are attached and have a good girlfriends. Doesn't mean that good-looking will get a good bf/gf."

5.From my mum, her thoughts on forgiving
"We can easily forgive our own mistakes, but if others commit the same mistake, we won't forget him/her that easily."

6. From my mum, her thoughts on friendship
"Building friendship is like building a wall. You needa put the bricks slowly. If it collapses, though it can be rebuilt, cracks are already there."

7. From myself, on what is right and wrong
"There isn't a gauge on what is right and wrong. As long as you do it and you don't feel anything, you have done something wrong."

8. From myself, on the purpose of a person, once shared with xiaohan and jiaming
"There is a reason for being at a place or organisation. Some ppl may find the purpose quick, while some will take a longer time. You just need patience to realise that. Don't think that you are useless."

9. From Fann Wong(Not my friend), her famous quote frm the drama, "chronicles of life"
"谁欠谁的，就在这辈子了结吧，可别拖欠到来世啊！来世如果能见面，我们各走各的。我跟你都互不相欠！"

These are the quotes that have realli affected me. You all can read, and see if you can get something out frm it.

My story is finally uploaded

2007-10-09T21:48:00.000+08:00

Hey guys

I know that you all maybe asking me, when am i going to upload my story. Well, i have juz uploaded juz now. I'll upload a new episode every tues and fri. Pls visit the webpage at

www.lqbr.blogspot.com

Thx guys!

我要写故事了，请多多支持！

2007-09-17T20:07:00.000+08:00

我的朋友们，我要写故事了。我会以剧本的方式写。我左想右想，决定把我的故事命名为<六亲不认>。

我会在九月底开设一个新的BLOG，把我的剧本放上去。至于BLOG的地址是什么，我会尽快告诉你们，到时候要多多捧场。我的故事到底有什么看头？其实我的故事里头的人物，都代表我通讯员里头的某位朋友。至于我是怎么安排，是没有什么根据的。不过里头还有一些人物的性格还跟我的该位朋友还有点像。至于什么时候放上网，每星期几次，请留意我的BLOG。

不过，故事是虚构的。里头人物之间的关系(尤其是情侣关系)是虚构的。大家仅记哦！

<六亲不认>剧情
平原集团主席温信育有一女三男，女儿温甜甜排行最大。她与丈夫林宝庆是温信的得意助手。大儿子温侠不爱做家庭生意，决定自力更生开餐馆。二儿子温武是剑桥硕士生。回国后帮助父亲打理生意。小儿子温迪不受父亲重视，在公司毫无地位。他为了向上爬，不惜与公司的大股东狼狈为奸、不择手段。

在爱情方面，温侠对小时候的青梅竹马应君璇死心塌地。而温武则夹在秘书郭杏兰与好朋友包泡泡之间，而温迪也对郭杏兰情有独中。

故事还包含许多角色为了种种的理由，也六亲不认！

到底剧中人物们的遭遇是如何，下场是怎样，请记得看我的故事。

INFERIOR Billy

2007-09-11T20:21:00.000+08:00

Today i did some thinking on the bus to my camp. Out of a sudden, i juz feel that i'm that inferior compared to my friends. Below are the reasons why I feel so inferior......

1. As a guy, i haven't never played warcraft games, counterstirke, DOTA, maple stories and so on.

2. As a Singapore student for more than a decade, I can't really master English well.

3. My height is below avg among many guys.

4. Though my studies weren't that bad, I wasn't from any good and famous schools.

5. I feel that i'm ugly and sometimes, i do think that i'm polluting the environment.

6. I'm not able to sing when many of my friends can sing well. Ppl don't realli pay attention when i sing.

7. I didn't get attached for the past 19 yrs whereby nowadays, majority of the ppl shld have gotten attached.

8. I'm unable to pay sports becoz i've a permanent knee injury.

9. I'm not masculine enough.

10. Becoz I'm Billy.

Not that i sound sad or what, i juz feel very inferior. Sometime juz feel that ppl start not to care abt me alr. I leave u guys with mayday's 人生海海
有一天我在想
我到底算是个什么东西
还是我会不会根本就不算东西

天天都漫无目的
偏偏又想要证明真理
别人从屁股放屁我却每天每天都说要革命

就算是整个世界把我抛弃
而至少快乐伤心我自己决定
所以我说就让他去
我知道潮落之后一定有潮起
有什么了不起

常常我豁出去
拚了命走过却没有痕迹
可是我从不怕挖出我火热的心
手上有一个硬币反面就决定放弃嗝屁
但是啊在我心底却完完全全不想放弃

常常我闭上眼睛
听到了海的呼吸是你
温柔的蓝色潮汐告诉我没有关系

就算真的整个世界把我抛弃
而至少快乐伤心我自己决定
所以我说就让他去
我知道潮落之后一定有潮起

我不能忘记
无论是我的明天要去哪里
而至少快乐伤心我自己决定
所以我说就让他去
我知道潮落之后一定有潮起
有什么了不起

啦啦啦啦啦啦
明天我在哪里～～～

My sweet 19

2007-09-10T20:56:00.000+08:00

Hey guys,

This is my 1st entry when i'm 19 yrs old. I juz had my party last sat. I think that this yr's party is more fun than last yr's. Perhaps more ppl play tgt but i must apologise to cec,tangjie and beechoo. I think many of us, perhaps including me, ostracise them unintentionally. Sry ladies!

I needa thank those who turned up for the party. I must also thank yuhui and qiongye for staying over. We realli talked a lot abt our personal stuffs and i think we know one another better.

Today is only my official date of my DOB. Below are the top 5 ppl who smsed me to wish me a happy birthday on time.
1st: Ying Wen (00:00:12)(This is the time)
2nd: Yu Hui (00:02:30)
3rd: Shuang Yu(00:03:07)
4th: Wan Yan (06:31:49)
5th: Xian Hui (08:14:31)

I juz feel very boliao, so i write this. It looks more like amazing race departure time(u won't get the joke if u dun watch amazing race)

Actually what i expect for my last yr of teenage's year, i haven't thought of it. I juz hoped that my NS life will be good and also i'm able to maintain those friendships that i have made coz some friendships are starting to fade off. Dunno why, perhaps everyone is busy and dun have time to maintain a friendship bah. That's depressing, no doubt. Well, this is a part of life.

As in for my love life, juz let nature take the course. Though i have someone in mind(you all dun bother to think who is it bah), i still unconfirmed. Even if i confirm she is the one, i feel that i am not good enough for her. Actually, i have many things to tell her, but i didn't. Anyway, i juz thought of this song becoz of that. I end my post with this song，真心话 by peter ho...

早晨醒来身上沾了颜料
而画笔还握得很紧很牢
阳光中你仍静静悄悄
在画板上看着我微笑

几乎每天梦到散着步和你聊
有一种幸福和美好
我感觉得到却捕捉不到
有时候让情绪很糟
感动明明塞满胸口却说不明白
我爱得多么澎湃只愿你能看得出来

喜欢你想爱你想说真心话
我只有深情但请你收下
我只有痴狂却不懂得方法
把我心里想的怀里有的清楚让你看吧

喜欢你想爱你想说真心话
路也许还长但爱已出发
我也许太傻却一点也不假
会永远体贴永远守约你肯让我爱你吗

想看着你闹陪着你笑让我爱你吧

Reflecting on the past 19 years

2007-09-05T18:36:00.000+08:00

Out of a sudden, i love my blog so much and feel like blogging and blogging. Recently, one of my NS buddies had his birthday and my instructor asked him,"Perhaps you can reflect on the yr that you juz had passed." I think it does make sense For me, since my birthday is around the corner, i think i shld reflect on the 18th yr that i have lived.

What i feel is that this yr i had gained a lot. I did well for my A-lvl and i didn't have to study until i feel like dying. Not that i'm sadistic, i really enjoy studying, in particular chemistry.

I also made some livelong friendship after i went for the malaysia exchange trip. I acknowledged a younger brother and we have a good bonding until now.

My 18th yr is also the year that i joined army. I'm happy that my vocation isn't that bad and the superiors i encounter, majority are quite good and caring.

However, my regret is that i haven't gotten into a relationship for the past 18 years. Actually my hope is to get into a relationship b4 i enter university. Though now, love isn't that impt. My family and my friends are more impt. However, I start to lose confidence in my love life. Am I really so lousy that i can't find a girlfriend? There are girls who like me but i don't really like them. I dun wanna agree to a relationship that isn't 2 way. It'll be really tough. I juz thought of this problem and I become a little bit emo and i recall a few songs.

The 1st song is an older song, the theme song of a fann wong's drama(缘尽今生). The name of the song is known as 熄缘, by 辛晓琪. It is a song on a woman, looking back at her love life. I do feel a lot for this song. The song is like this:

回首看我一生
发现爱的旅程不完整
宁愿只爱一人
也不愿一生为情所困

黄昏中的女人
是否该放弃为爱去等
情深若已变冷
一切只能空留余恨
到了何时我才能
拥有一个知心的人
让我爱让我疼
他让我爱让我疼
为我擦干多年的泪痕

寒风中只剩我一人
我的爱擦肩去无声
不再问什么是缘份
注定没有爱情的根

不再守候一扇空门
没有爱情的根

The lyric is really nice and touching, right? I feel as if i'm the woman that is featured in this song. I know that i'm really extreme. Well, coz my love life is really blank and empty. Hope you guys will understand.

Many ppl do care for me/List of birthday gifts

2007-09-04T21:26:00.000+08:00

Hey guys, I'm back to blog. You all must praise me, i make an effort to blog as often as possible. Recently ppl know that i'm not in a realli good mood and many ppl do ask me to take care. Thx guys, i'm better now, but i believe i still need few days to recuperate.

Recently, i started to chat quite frequently with zhiyuan and yuhui. I must say that i realli enjoy chatting with them. For zhiyuan, maybe his age is around mine, thus we do have a same mindset in some guy's issue. So i did have a wonderful telephone chat with him last week.

As in for yuhui, can i say that we have chemistry or something? Both of us feel comfortable to chat with each other. Few days back juz had a long chat on msn with him. We also share lots of same thinking on some issues like girls and relationship.

Anyway, sometimes ppl do praise me. Thx guys. However, i realli think that i'm over-flattered. Many of them say that i'm someone who they feel realli comfortable to speak to and some say that i'm one of the few ppl who they can confide in. I realli feel honoured that they feel that way, coz i'm born with ppl saying bad stuffs abt me and also many ppl tend to give me a lot of discouragement. I realli thk for those buddies and friends who praise me. It means a lot to me.

Btw, if u all dunno, my birthday is approaching. Some of u maybe thinking what to give me. I have thought of it. To me, actually it's thoughts that counts. And for my birthday, it's a chance to test the telepathy btw by friends and me. Actually what i like ppl writing me cards, giving ur some true greeting and feeling abt u. When i read, i may get a little emotional.

However, if u realli want me to tell u guys what i want, then maybe clothes, accesories and cards bah. It doesn't mean that i won't accept any other things, perhaps the presents that u wanna give me, i juz happen to forget bah.

I can feel your sadness coz i'm also sad.

2007-09-02T02:29:00.000+08:00

It seems that i'm blogging monthly, haha. Paiseh, coz i realli think that i shld only blog when something special. Indeed last nite was txy 25th anniversary. My feeling that night was realli very complicated. At a moment i can be very happy, at a moment i can be very sad. Well, no doubt that i am realli sad that ruiying didn't win any grp award. Not only me, even all the ruiyings are very sad coz they realli put in a lot of effort and time. Some screwed up exams, some quarrel with parents, some give up the chance to go back to their homeland and so on. Everybody sacrificed and eventually we didn't get the recognition. Not that i'm so particular abt the money, trophy or anything, it's juz the recognition. I did realli drop tears for this. And anyway, i haven't dropped tears becoz of sadness for yrs.

If the readers who know what i'm talking abt in the 1st para, u can carry on reading. If not, u maybe blur. Some of you shld know why ruiying didn't win. The reason i believe has made many ppl unhappy and angry. I'm also one of them. Some of them come to terms to the root cause coz realli, there is nth to do now. For me, perhaps i have been around in txy for 2 yrs and i have been working with ruiying closely. No exaggeration if i say that ruiying is my fruit and 21st and 22nd batch of ruiyings are my sons and daughters. So i still dunno if i'd come to terms to the root cause. I understand that nth can be done and actually the new leaders realli know the root cause and i have strong confidence that they can solve the prob. Juz dunno why i juz can't put this down.

Anyway, i realli learn a lot frm this yr on ruiying. Frm what i can recall, they are:
1. 1 minor thing can have a major impact. For example, like academic, something which is close to us. Though u may say that i juz scored 1 mark lesser for an exam, there isn't impact. However, i believe u all shld have encountered experience like 1 mark to a distinction.

2. There are all types of ppl in the world. Short and sweet!

3.We must make calculated sacrifices and risks.

Juz to conclude, i can feel the sadness of ruiying coz i'm also sad. Well, at least i think many of our ruiyings can touch their own heart and say, "we've put in 100% for ruiying". I believe this is enough. I believe i'll come to terms with this soon, maybe few days coz ruiying still has a long way to go.

I don't know whether "disappointed" is a good word

2007-08-09T18:17:00.000+08:00

I know that i neglected my blog for a while, becoz of my laziness. Though i can go home every weekdays after army, i still don't feel like blogging. Anyway, i wanna share with you all a good news, I got my driving license and it's my first attempt. At least i'm happy that i got my driving license when i am 18. However, i still realli need a lot more practice for my driving, coz i still dunno have lots of confidence for that. In addtion, my parking is horrible.

Well, recently i realised lots of changes, in particular in friends. Many of them have a 180 degrees change in their character. Many of them seem not to care abt their good friends. I can't say that they 忘恩负义. Perhaps time realli dilutes and they seem to go and make other new friends. In addition, many of them realli tend to talk bad abt others behind their backs. I believe many ppl will do it, but i simply dun believe that they will use those words on ppl. Well, everything has changed man. I don't know whether "disappointed" is a good word to use.

Lastly, i feel that i totally can't sing. Honestly, i feel very inferior when i go k-box. Dunno if i shld be disappointed abt that. Sigh.... I realli feel like learning to sing. Well, is it worth it? I don't know.

success friendship for dummies

2007-06-24T15:41:00.000+08:00

Hey everyone, it has been a while i blog. Well, i've juz POP-ed. My BMT is over! I hope that i don't needa go back to Pulau Tekong anymore, though i have lots of memories over there. Hope that i can go back to tekong 1 day, but not for training.

I juz read aileen's blog, she has an entry, regarding how to handle relationship. Though it's impt, I think that handling friendship is more impt. I also have a set of values, on how to maintain ur friendship.

How to maintain ur friendship?

1. Never neglect your friendship due to ur girlfriend/boyfriend.(Your friend will be jealous and hurt)

2. Pls reply your friend's sms or email if they send you one. Some friends who realli care for you will think that you have encountered a mishap.

3. Don't make your friend to accompany you when you are going to meet a grp of friends whom your friend doesn't know them. Trust me, you will neglect your friend de.

4. Don't force your friend to do something juz to accompany you. For example, if your friend doesn't like playing basketball, don't ask him to play with you, no matter how much interest you have.

5. Never vent your anger on your friend. Though your friend may have high level of tolerance, you shldn't take them for granted. Think back, do you want someone to vent their anger on you?

6. He or she maybe your friend. When they do things for you, pls say thank you! Again, dun take them for granted.

7. Try not to make your close friends to work under you. There will be lots of conflict and eventually, it affects your friendship.

8. Do give your friends a tap on the shoulder, a HI-FIVE, or even a hug if you all are closer. Of course, this normally works for the same gender.

9. Building a friendship is like brewing a pot of cantonese soup. You need time. So don't be so anxious and despo when u wanna make a friend. Let nature takes the course bah!

10. Friendship actually still depends on chemistry, not physics. (LOL) If time proves that both of you can't be good friends, juz let it go bah! Friendship is just like a boy-girl relationship eventually.

These 10 ways are written according to my experiences for the past few yrs. I totally feel that it's true. Hmm.... do comment or tag if you have any suggestions.

1 post b4 my book-in

2007-05-20T17:50:00.000+08:00

Hey guys, as usual, i will publish a post b4 my book-out. The previous week, so far so good. I learn to shoot. At first, it was quite nervous. After that, it's realli shiok! Why? Coz how many ppl have the chance to shoot in their lives?

Ytd i went back to sph & met them. I felt a bit sad to see them fixing the props and leaflets for wen hua ying. It realli reminded me of myself doing huixun, doing all the preparations. However, thru all these tedious preparations, we actually bonded with one another and we can actually have a closer friendship with them.

Well, i must say that the previous week wasn't a good week. I kenna rejected for 2 things. Nothing abt my love life this time round. I kenna rejected for some interviews in NS and also my application for my MOE teaching awards. It's realli sad i must say. However, i must say that this time round, i did something different. I actually wish all my friends who got the chance to go for the interviews all the best. I also hoped that they can get it. Last time, when i was still childish, i will realli think, "i don't realli bother who gets it".

Oh ya, next week is my qiang mai competition. I realli dunno what to do, coz i'm sure that i won't get into top 4. I also won't have time to prepare. I'll definitely do my best de.

Tml going field camp le. A little bit anxious coz i'm going to stay in the jungle. Though i know that it's the most tiring part of the training, you will have lots of experience that are unforgettable.

Looking forward to next sat, the qiang mai competition....

I'm back....

2007-05-13T16:21:00.000+08:00

Hey everyone, I'm back from NS. Let me blog b4 i book-in in few hrs time. Well, i realli feel that my NS is so far so good, though i must admit that i'm like many other guys, we will rather stay at home. I must say that i realli learn a lot in NS and my mind is realli stronger after these 2 weeks. Well, i have learnt quite a lot of stuffs, like holding on a gun, first aid and so on. I finally know why tianrong loves first aid so much. It's realli fun, though i didn't do that well for the first aid test.

I totally miss everyone when i was in NS. I miss my family and my txy friends. I went back to sph ytd, i created a bit of commotions when i went back. Everyone seems to be a bit shocked to see me. They are all trying to remove my cap. I did try to resist but well, yijun was the first person who successfully removed my cap. Actually, i don't realli mind to let them see my botak head. I realli missed them. I was happy to see all my friends and my buddies in txy. Well, i'll get to see them 2 weeks later for my singing comp.

Just wanna update everyone, i'm quite alrite. My BMT will end in less than 1 mth, so quite fast lah. I juz made it for these 1 mth(actually it's only like 20 days, after all the booking out), it'll be alrite le. Honestly speaking, i'll be happy and proud on that day which i complete my BMT coz not only physically, it also drives ur mind to the limit. My mind is stronger....

Well, dun talk so much le bah. Will try to update more after my BMT. You all can still tag. I'll reply de.

My feelings are complicated like hell

2007-04-23T10:22:00.000+08:00

Hello everyone, I'm back to blog. Dun wanna talk abt anymore philosophy of life, coz i think that i can tell u guys more after i go NS.

Anyway, i juz have lots of feelings now. I think that my feelings now are very complicated, coz i'm entering NS in like 4 days. I juz realised that i needa adapt another new environment again. I haven't experienced a new environment for few yrs le, i think that the last time was in JC. However, this time round, i'm more afraid. Not that i'm being a baby or sumting, coz i'm realli scared that i can't get along with the ppl. Coz in jc, if u can't get along with others well, u can still work alone. However, in NS, u realli needa get along with others well coz it's realli teamwork in NS. Somemore, i realli dunno what ppl will i meet. In JC, u can expect what ppl from what schools will u be meeting. There is so much of unknowns which i actually totally detest it. Hope that i can adapt to it in 1-2days.

Then, i also feel a better sad that i gonna leave home. My parents and sister will be worried. I always hear them saying that my room will be empty and there will be 1 pair of chopsticks lesser on the dining table for a while. It's realli sad to hear them saying it. Well, at least my maid needa cook lesser.

Of course, i gonna miss txy. I've been there for almost all weekends since the beginning of the yr. I made lots of new friends, in particular ruiying newbies. I realli have lots of fun there for the past 2 yrs. I'm also happy to help out in the orientation. Honestly speaking, i realli wanna help in wenhuaying coz i missed the one last yr. Well, i still can't help this time round and i gonna wait for 2 more yrs. Realli feel a bit sad.
Then the last thing to address is abt ruiying. Sigh.... realli there are lots of prob present. I didn't wanna address it to chengyao coz i'm still around to help out. Now, i'll be leaving for NS and xingdan maybe busy in her poly days, i told chengyao that we realli gonna do sumting. Well,, he did tell me his thinking and it isn't a bad idea, coz it shld help to improve ruiying in any aspects. Realli hope that ruiying is as strong as ever even i left for NS. I miss u guys

Effort=result?

2007-04-03T20:51:00.001+08:00

Hey guys, i came back to blog again. Hmm..... i realli wanna put a tagboard in my blog, so can somebody teach me how to do it? Like give me exact instructions?

I must update you guys abt myself. I was surprised that I made it into the top 12 males for the txy qiang mai competition. Just for the information for non-txy, qiang mai is a singing comp. I made it into the top 12 because I sang karen mok's song. Haha, you all maybe laughing at me, but it's the truth, i sang a song of a female singer and i got into top 12. Honestly speaking, i got in, one of the reasons is that there are realli fewer guys who took part, thus there is less comp. For gals, becoz there are so many gals taking part, gals face intense competition. So tang jie and cec, you all realli have the ability to sing, unlike me, haha. And i'm realli happy that i made it in with haiyuan and zhipeng. They are my 2 new friends in txy.

Oh ya, let's go back to the topic. Does effort=result? I always dun believe in that equation though Newton's third law stated that "For every action force there is an equal, but opposite, reaction force". To relate more to my point, i will remove "but opposite" from the law. Sorry Issac Newton.......

I believe that many ppl think that at least for exams, we study like mad, yet we still can't get the grade we want. Sometimes, we didn't really put in effort but yet we didn't perform that bad. I have a lot of such experiences, particularly in friendship. Sometimes, we spent so much time on a friendship, and sometime we sacrifice juz for our friends, and either they won't rmb or they won't sacrifice for u. For me, sometimes they are even your close friends.

Anyway, dun talk abt myself lah. My friends out there who are studying, it doesn't mean that we practise more qns and we will do well. I have been thru A-level and O-level le. For my A-level in particular, you all juz needa do the recent 10 yrs qns and practise diff types of qns, then can le. Trust me.......

Well, result realli doesn't equal to result. As a chinese saying goes 有心栽花花木兰，无心插柳柳橙汁。Oops.... no no no no. It shld be 有心栽花花不放，无心插柳柳成阴。

Friends

2007-03-28T21:33:00.000+08:00

Hello guys, you all shld be asking me a qn, is your blog dead? Yup, it was in a coma due to my laziness. Haha, you all shld be asking me, you are so damn free now, why don't you update? Well, it is an irony in life. Hmmm.... don't understand? Let's have an example. Do you realise that ppl who are late are normally those who live around the gathering area? Haha, can't be explained but it's really an irony.

Haha, out of pt. I shld talk abt my topic, FRIENDS. But b4 my discussion, i needa update u guys. Many of u shld be asking abt my A-level results, i got AABC, C6. Hmm.... if you are asking if I'm satisfied or not? Hmmm..... As u guys know i'm a perfectionist, I won't be happy. Well, at least it's a sigh of relief coz i dun needa worry abt my results anymore. Though getting AAB is something beyond my expectation, i juz realised, it's so close to triple A. If i get triple A, i can go back to my prom nite to receive prizes. Anyway, dun talk abt it le.

Friends...... What is the definition of friends? Someone whom you have his number? Someone whom you have talked to? Someone who shared the same interest as you? Well, in my opinion, friends are someone whom we really have chemistry and maybe telepathy, or both ppl who try to make an effort to keep in contact.

So how abt good friend as best friend? When we were young, we would determine our gd friends and best friends easily. As i get older, i think that time will determine whether one is our gd friend or best friend. In my opinion, good friend is someone whom i have been close to for 2-3 years. Best friend shld be someone whom i have been close to for like 10 years. So far, there isn't any ppl who are my best friends. In addition, whether my gd friend or best friend, our friendship shldn't be affected by things like selfishness, money etc. Well, i really met ppl who are like that and i really knew them for quite a while. So i really feel wasted that i can't be good friends with them......

Anyway, it's juz my personal opinion. If you have anything to say, you all can comment......

Blogging after 1 mth

2007-01-09T13:37:00.000+08:00

Hi everybody, i'm blogging after 1 mth. Hmm... as u all know that i went hk. This trip is very special, not that i went anywhere special. Perhaps, this was the last time i could go back in these few yrs, coz i'm going to serve the country mah.

Like i mentioned, i went to shandong. Ok lah, not that fun, coz dun have any friends. Like i went china so many times, i went there with many friends, so can do more things. Going with family, u must follow what they do. Most imptly, i went mount tai(Tai Shan). Very xin ku. Though it's not as tiring compared to climbing the great wall, the climate was very cold(-15 degrees). I really make a decision if i wanna go Harbin in the future, which is even colder (-30 degrees). I heard frm the tour guide that in Harbin, u must bring a pole into the toilet. For what? To crush ur urine that has frozen. It is disgusting, but i'll really happen.

28th dec
Then when i came back, wow... many ppl came to the airport(lijun, junhua, jielei,tangjie,qiongye). The taxi driver joked with us. He even claimed that since i'll pay him the fare, i can instruct him to do anything. I told him to stop the car and throw tangjie out of the maxicab.....

After that, quite a number of txys went directly to my house. Like zhiyao, huanlin, chunhui, br & yijun. We played mahjong and bridge. We had lots of fun....

29th dec
It was my prom nite. I was looking forward to put on my korean outfit, which cost me like HK$450 (S$90). Then, i had my timberland shoes, which cost me HK $350 (S$70). The pair of shoes were so heavy. It weights around 4kgs. Then, with my dyed hair, i went sph to style my hair. Huh, sph has salon ah... No lah, i asked my buddy junhua to style my hair. He is really very tiring lah. Coz i'm slightly taller than him, he needa raise his hand high up to style my hair. Haha, xin ku leh wah zai. At least i look qutite handsome(u can look at the photos). After the prom nite, i met wah zai. He went to my house to stay overnite. We did have a long chat till 4am.... Haha We talked abt many things and i did learn many things or shld i say philsophy... Though they were quite true, i still dun believe, coz i'm stubborn mah.

30th dec

I went sph in the morning to have a zi geng di meeting. This time, i had the opportunity to work with yifang and fangda. Hmm.... the topic, u all will get to see it on the newspaper in few mths time.
Again, a huge grp of txy went to my house. (Junhua, Lijun, Jie Lei, Chun Hui & her sis, Tang jie, zhiyao, qiongye, leican). Again we had mahjong and bridge..... I did make some salad, jelly, and sweet potatoes soup for them(though it tastes a bit bland lah)

31th dec

Early in the morning, i went to my godfather house and i brought along my amazing race disk and watched with him. After that i prepared my stuffs for the countdown party. Though i mentioned that it will start at 6pm, the first group of ppl who come arrived at 7+. Eventually at 12am, qiongye,huanlin,leican,tangjie, jielie and cec were there to countdown. Wow, they nearly turned my house upside down. They turned my house to a disco...... Dunno if i had disturbed my maid that nite. Then, junhua joined us in 12.30am. We started to play. We played many games like muffia, true or dare. The atmosphere was a bit cold. I felt quite sad coz not everyone is happy, and particularly junhua who actually came to my house at late midnite. I totally felt very sad and i talked to cec abt that. Luckily, we played something else like testing on the knowledge of unit. For example, if we say milk, then the person must answer----1 cup. Then the next person says TV, the person must answer 2 sets. Very fun. Then we have the game of inverting words. After that, some ppl wanna sleep. Then Jie Lei & I tried to learn some poker card tricks from junhua. Then at around 6am, junhua and i went to the room and we intended to sleep. However, we talked for like 1 hour and again, i learnt much more things from that talk. I was totally surprised from what he said to me......

At least i had lots of fun from these few days.... Since i'm free now, i'll try to blog more often... Take care....

Back in Hong Kong

2006-12-12T10:38:00.000+08:00

I'm now in Hong kong and i have been there for like 2 weeks. Let me recall what i'd done. Hmm... the day which i left Changi Airport, i was really freaking out coz i reached the airport like 15 mins b4 the gate closed. Oh ya, and Jun hua actually sent me off. I was really touched coz none of my frenz has actually sent me off. I really start to realise, many things, though it's trival, u will make others happy when u do it.
When my airplane reached hk, i was like..... " When did hk become so hot? The feeling is juz like studying in an air-con room."
Anyway, i came back to hk and i kept on eating and eating. Though their food isn't some expensive cuisine, it juz taste nice. Anyway, hopefully i didn't put on that much of weight(my quota is only 1-2 kg).
Of course, i played mahjong and it seemed that i had lost many games. Hmm.. I really wanna play mahjong with txy when i'm back. Who is interested, juz comment in my blog.
And i'm going to qingdao on fri for 6 days. Qingdao is famous for beer and haha, i dun drink beer. I'll also be going to Tai Shan and Confucious's hometown. Hopefully i will have a fruitful trip and i won't put on weight......

Anyway, i'll be back on 28th dec, at around 12pm.... Cya

Knowing too much things may not be good

2006-11-24T13:28:00.000+08:00

Sigh... though my A-level is over, i dun feel happy at all. Ironically, i feel sad. Why? Because i know too much things already.
I'm quite free recently, so i met up with some friends. I juz knew many things abt txy and i was totally shocked to know these facts. Actually, i would realli hope that i dun know all these things. My impression of many other ppl in my mind has changed, mostly from good to bad. Well, i still need to do more "verifications" to confirm all these. Some of them even concern ruiying. I am really unsure if i shld do something abt that. Not only it concerns ruiying, it also concerns my friendship with some of my friends. I know that i'm leaving for HK soon, but i simply can't put everything aside. I really want to talk to some ppl abt that, but i can't find them. Trouble, trouble, trouble....
Not only this, i am hoping to do something and it seems that i'm not allowed and i'm not chosen. I'm really at my life's "low tide"(translate directly frm chinese). I can't think of any solution and it seems that everyone is so happy, leading their lives. I also hope to, but i can't find anything to lead a happy life. Maybe i'm like Monkey God, i need to encounter 81 difficulties to succeed. Haha, not funny.....

Exams are over. Happy?

2006-11-18T10:19:00.000+08:00

My exam had finished ytd. Happy? I dun realli have some special feeling. Juz like a normal day to me. I feel that i'll have a hard time for these 3 mths becoz i'll always think of my A-level. I even claimed my qn paper back. If i'm bored, i'll take them out and read and read. I may slowly realise that, WTF, 2marks deducted, 3marks deducted....... Unlike O-level, i cannot really estimate how will i fare. For O-level, i made a good estimation. For my 8 subjects, i correctly estimated the grade for 6 subjects and my L1R5. Now, there are so many unknowns. Other than maths, which i think it shld be an A, for other subs, i totally have no idea what will i get. No matter what, i hope that my GP can at least obtain a C6.

I'm freaking out everyday. I can't simply forget abt the qns i did for all my subjects. Though it's useless to think abt it, i'll still think abt it, coz i'm still Billy Ng Chi Ching. Well, i'm not like many of my friends, who are so busy during the dec holiday. So far, i'll be going for steamboat with aileen, yijun, cecilia etc later on and i'll be going sph, which i haven't stepped into it since 3 mths ago. I miss the talking, screaming and joking with txy. Then tues, my class has an outing. So far, i dun have any date. Currently, i'm waiting for junhua's reply. I sms him ytd, still waiting for his reply. I'll really be so free for these past 10 days. Anyway, i'll be flying to hongkong on the 29th nov and i'll return in 1 mths time, 28th dec. If anyone is going hong kong for holiday during this period of time, do "sign-up" by commenting so that i can bring u around in hong kong, for good food, kai-kai, u can ask aileen where did i bring her to when she went to hk last yr. Hmm..... suddenly have the urge to take my qn paper out again to look at it. Cya guys.

Fail, failed, failure!

2006-11-11T21:10:00.000+08:00

Hey guys, i have completed the major papers like chem paper 3, maths, chinese. I still have 2 chem short papers and econs. Therefore, I'm a bit relaxed now. Yet, i'm currently suffering from migrane & chest pain & also loss of sleep. Despite, i sleep as late as 2am, i'll still wake up at 8am. I really wanna sleep a bit later but i can't.

Anyway, i realised something recently. I realised that the girl whom i fell for recently had dated someone. (Everyone, it's not the one whom i had told u all. I didn't tell anyone abt this b4.) Though i told myself that i shldn't think abt anything abt love, but well, happened to know abt this by chance. Sigh..... i even intended to tell her few days back. Well, am i lucky or unlucky not to tell her? If she had already a bf, it'll be embarassing to tell her. But if she had a bf only after my intention to tell her, then i shld have told her. I still wanted to date her after my A-level. Hmm.. it seems that i couldn't. I must really figure out who am i going to act naturally when i wanna see her in the future.

In addition, this gal maybe dating my good friend. Sigh.... why is it so qiao that the gal whom i fell for, will either date my good friend or like my good friend? Sigh, and i really feel so bad if i needa compete with my friends. Normally, i won't coz i'll normally give my blessings.

Dunno when will my true love arrive? Is it going to land or is it still flying and it is having a layover now? Nobody knows. Really unlucky. And i really have nothing to say.

Everything will start in 17 hrs.

2006-11-01T15:17:00.000+08:00

Hey everyone, coming to blog, my last entry b4 my A-level. Juz feel very stressed. I have a headache for the past weeks and my chest will hurt occasionally. In addition, though i'm very tired, i can really have a good sleep recently. Perhaps i'm nervous, no idea.

Comparing myself with others, i really feel that i'm not as hardworking as others, i didn't really stay up late to study. The latest is around 1am, but i always sleep at around 12am. Whereas, i know that many ppl study until 3am. In addition, i still watched tv, use the computer and go out for my meals.

When i study, for chinese literature in particular, i'm always very scared that what i have studied, it didn't appear for my exams. I'm taking a risk, i'm juz focusing on the long qns for 3 stories, coz i only needa answer 3 qns for my long qns section. Well, i think that it shld be a smart move, coz like my chinese teacher had said, when u know all stories equally well, u'll be so confused when u needa choose 3 long qns out of 5 provided, u may waste a lot of time. I hope that it's true. Anyway, tml is my GP paper. I've no idea what will appear. It seems that an essay qns on nuclear energy may appear. So really hope that i'm so lucky that it may appear. I'll not attempt common qns like qns on education, youth & aged. If i can, i'll attempt qns which requires knowledge on that particular field, like nuclear power.

Honestly, after the GP & Chinese paper, i won't be so scared becoz my maths & chem are my better subs. I won't be so tensed, perhaps i needa put more attention on my option topic for my chemistry(environmental chem), which i totally detest it. For econs, after my maths, i've 5 free days to pia econs. That's really my strategy.

Dunno how will i fare for my A-level? Though my grade is school has been quite alrite, from AAC to AAB to AAA. Even if i can AAC, i won't be so disappointed. I've told myself, i'll be utterely disappointed to get something below AAC. My ideal grade is of course 4As, but to be a bit realistic, i believe it'll be what i have gotten for my prelims, AABC. Anyway, what i can do now is to work hard and dun think abt it, which is difficult.

I'm quite pressurised and stressed for A-levels. My family even suggested that FEB 2007, someone needa accompany me to get my results, coz they afraid that i'll kill myself if i didn't do well, which i think i will. And my definition for not doing well is BBC, which many ppl think that i'm crazy. Anyway, i'll really work for the last few days to ensure that this won't happen.

Lastly, wish all the Os & As students, all the best! Jia you!

JC life has ended

2006-10-16T00:51:00.000+08:00

Wow, 2 yrs of JC life have ended coz i dun needa go back to school anymore until the A-level. Well, i shld say that i'm happy but not becoz of the school, but perhaps i joined tong xun yuan. Honestly, if i can choose again, i may not go JJC. Perhaps i'll go NYJC coz i don't enjoy myself like many ppl do in JJC. Well i do say that i have made some good friends in JJC. Though there isn't a lot, but there are still a few whom i can remember.

1. Xiling & Vivian. Actually i know you all for so long, haha. But you all seem to always be there for me, giving me advice. Well, you all commented the most in my blog.
2. My small grp of friend in 05S22 David, Weeling, Jun Hao, Wendy & Xinhang: Thanx for u all. Though sometimes we dun talk much, perhaps we dun have common interest, we are still able to be friends. And without you all, i think that i'll always eat alone during my break.
3. 1st 3 mths' buddy: Wow, it seems that our friendship didn't dilute despite i left you all after 1st 3 mth. Thanx.
4. GrpB: Haha, my grp mates for the Xi An trip. You all are a grp of remarkable friends. Our friendship was built in China and i'd maintained it well with most of them. And thanx for the S31 grp of friends, allowing me to sit with u all everyday in the morning.
5. Jason. Simply know him by chance, thru the FireFlyz opening. And surprisingly we do talk quite a bit when we meet each other. And read his blog juz now, our character and our situation now are quite similar. Perhaps this has bonded us.

Though i dun have an enjoyable 2 yrs, these are something which i'll bring away with me.

Few more weeks to A-level/ prelim results

2006-10-08T13:31:00.000+08:00

Juz had my lunch. Feel like blogging b4 continuing my revision. Many of my friends say that they will not blog for these few weeks becoz they need to prepare for their A-level. Well, i dun believe in this. Perhaps i enjoy sharing things with others, so i need to blog to release my emotion. If not, i can't concentrate when i'm studying.
Well, prelim result is out. Erm... okok, not too bad, though i'm not too happy with it.

Chinese A: 68% (B)
Maths: 80% (A)
Economics: 62% (C)
Chemistry: 74% (A)
GP: 52% (C6)

Hmm.... so i got AAB, C6. To many ppl, this is quite a good set of results becoz prelim is normally more difficult than A-level. Well, i shld say that i did quite ok becoz this term i had a bit of distraction like TXY stuffs and China trip, yet i still can get a set of respectable result. Well, i shld say that i won't be so sad getting this set of results becoz....

Chinese: Becoz i didn't do well for my Literature paper, so i didn't get an A like i normally did. So i really needa spend more time memorising my literature stuff. Becoz i heard that to get an A for A-level, it's very difficult coz to secure an A, 85% for chinese lit is a must. Well, i kept on getting 70+%, so it's not enough. The best result will only be a B. So it really motivates me to study chinese.

Maths: 80% looks good to many ppl i believe coz many ppl dun even get 80% for their secondary school A & E maths. Well, I may be a bit disappointed becoz i expected myself to get 85% to secure an A during A-level. In addition, i wasn't the top in maths. The top student in my class for math was 90%. OMG! So, i think that i needa do more preparation to secure an A.

Economics: This is really the fairy tale for this prelim. I was even one of the top in class, 4th 0r 5th, i think. I had never gotten a C for my econs for these 2 yrs. I finally knew how to prepare for econs. Well, even my teacher says that i had improved tremendously. Well, but my essay is still not up to the standard, though i passed. I knew the way to study MCQ & data-response already. HAPPY, HAPPY! I have always wanted to give up but yet i got C. So perhaps, god wants me to study econs. Perhaps i shld aim for better grades. Motivated to do so.

Chemistry: 74%. After i took the paper, i knew that i didn't do well for my paper 3, which takes up 50% of the chem paper. Indeed, i only got 62% for paper 3, a bit unhappy, though many ppl did very badly. For MCQ, which takes up 20% of the full paper, i got 31/40. I was shocked coz i expected something lower. Then i was thinking, i need 47/60 for paper 2 to get an A. This paper 2 takes up 30%. And guess what, i got 54/60. Totally shocked. I even thought that my hope to get A for chem had diminished. Haha, now i know that as long as i can do well for paper 3, i can do well for my chem. But for the actual A-level, SPA takes up 20% & theory takes up 80%. I knew that my results for SPA will be lower than many ppl coz i didn't do well. So my theory paper needs to score at least 80% to secure an A.

GP: 2/3 of the class failed and i passed and in my class, those who passed, nobody gets more than 60%. I think that i dun needa be so afraid that i may fail my GP coz i can write GP essay well but i still couldn't do well for compre. I'm diff from avg students who do better in compre.

Many ppl may ask abt my studying time table now. Well, i actually followed my mood. For prelim, coz i hadn't gone thru all my work. I needa plan carefully to ensure i went thru my work. But now, i had gone thru my work twice and in the progress of going thru the third time, so i'm more comfortable now. My mood will tell me that today is an econs day, tml is a chem & math day, so on..... My aim is to go thru my stuff 4 times b4 my exams. I feel that this way of revising is quite alright coz i hate to be restricted.

My ideal result for A-level, which is an UTOPIA is
Chemistry: A
Maths: A
Chinese A: A
Economics: A
GP: B3

Well but my guess will be

Chemistry: A
Maths: A
Chinese A: B
Economics: B
GP: C6

Hope that my dream will come true and i must work hard to make sure my dream will come true.

Anyway, i think that my NS enlistment day will be coming soon. 1 classmates of mine had received. So i shld receive my this wk. Hope that i can go in only in april, coz i wanna help out in the TXY orientation and hope that i can do so, if not i'll be an extra person in txy, not doing anything at all.... Take care guys

My ambition is correct

2006-10-02T13:13:00.000+08:00

Hmm.... Just ended school. I'm so anxious to get back my chem paper 2 today but guess what, my chem teacher is absent. So 扫兴. And there isn't a relief teacher. Dunno when is she going to return our chem paper 2 coz i heard that the teachers need to key in our prelim results into the computer by wed. So hopefully we can get back tml, though our next chem tutorial is next mon (coz our tutorial is only once a wk).

Anyway, after last sat, i'm very sure abt my ambition which i'd thought of last yr--- teacher. Last sat, i met cantonese buddy junhua coz he told me that he missed me(so mushy). No lah, coz he needed some help in his social studies mid-yr. Perhaps he is a bit weak in his eng, so he couldn't understand the textbook and the model essays fully. Thus, i explained everything to him, sentence by sentence in cantonese and chinese. I explained to him abt why conflict arises among countries(competition for sacred resources, land and also differences in ideology) and also abt diplomacy & deterrence, which is abt UN, ASEAN & also the 2 pronged approach which S'pore adopts. You guys guess how long did i explain all these to him and i repeated many times.............

6 hours, from 5.30-11.30pm, though we talked abt other stuffs within these hours. And you all guess what, i was so patient and didn't mind explaining the same thing again and again for 6 hours. Perhaps i really think that i can be a teacher, perhaps tutor. Haha, but i won't be teaching social studies. Chemistry or math perhaps if i really become a teacher. Thanx for believing in me, Junhua. Then, this also proves that my cantonese is still quite good, haha...

Dunno why, when ppl ask me some qns on math & chem, i dun feel impatient. I like it, coz i really love to talk & teach. Well, ppl who aren't in the same school as me feel that :"Billy, you can teach ah? Are u that good?"
Ya, i admit i'm not in a top JC and i'm never in a top school, but it seems that ppl are quite stereotype, thinking that ppl in neighbourhood school are definitely less clever than those in top schools. That's why i'm taking my A-level this yr, telling ppl that you don't need to be in a top secondary school or top JCs to do well. Well, this is really a stereotype. Though i'm not saying that i'm very clever and doesn't mean that i can't teach. Teaching also requires the way you present your knowledge and the way of explaining. Some ppl think that they are from XXJC and they are thus very smart and think that ppl from YYJC are very stupid. I knew of someone who belong to XXJC, yup he did well for his O-level, so much better than me, but guess what, i can teach better than him coz he couldn't teach. Well, i won't talk so loudly now, wait till my A-level has ended.... Anyway, the conclusion is that my ambition is correct and if ppl think that neighbouring schools students are dumb, haha, you are already acting as a dumb ass.

Everything is complicated...

2006-09-25T13:59:00.000+08:00

Hmm... juz ended school and got back a few papers. Well, i shldn't reveal first until i got back all.

Well, recently felt that many things are actually very complicated. It is really that as people grow other, things that occur around them are really complicated. Why do I say that? Well, becoz i got something which on the surface, it's something nice. Instead, i feel that it's a sarcasm. Perhaps u all dun understand, but i won't further elaborate coz the ppl involved may be reading the blog. (My blog has been introduced by the CDAC in their monthly newletter, so i must be careful abt what i write)

Then, even i become complicated. I find my character very special. My character is very extreme. Dunno why do i feel sad even when i go out with my friends last fri? Perhaps i really feel demoralised coz they all can sing so well... Coz i can't sing. Some ppl didn't learn but yet they can sing so well. I really tried to learn, but....

Hmm... many ppl are striving so hard, even harder than me, but yet they may not get the grade they want. Though i can normally get the good grades i want, i am not happy at all, dunno why. Perhaps i want something else. I want to have a good voice and also have the ability to dance hip-hop. Well, i'm not gifted. I also want to be very physically fit, but what, i can't perform all these. And i dun think i look good. So when i have the money, i'll do 3 things
1. Learn to sing
2. Learn Hip hop
3. Plastic surgery

Even i've all the money in the world, i can't really buy what i want
1. Accompany
2. The ability to read thru other's mind

Well, u seee, everything is complicated. You all shld trust me now....

Looking back

2006-09-12T15:12:00.000+08:00

Hey, juz taking a break from my revision and coming to blog. Firstly, thanx for everyone who turned up for my party, hope that u all have a great time. I dun think i'm a good host lah. Anyway, thanx for all ur presents. Quite a lot, so can't really rmb what did each of u give me? Will true to recall de, paiseh.

Anyway, i was juz looking thru some of my photos juz now. They are photos of some milestone events in my life, which includes photos taken in txy activities, photos taken during my 3 exchange trips and also photos taken during my 18th birthday party. I started to have more and more feeling for life and i juz realised, after 18 yrs, i really grow up.

Few yrs back, when i was still an introvert who hated to make friends and talked(I'm not kidding) till now, someone who talks too much and tries very hard to establish strong friendships with everyone. It is really an achievement of mine and it really makes my growing up process.

From someone who doesn't treasure life in the past, even wanted to commit suicide(and i nearly died), to someone who start to be a bit more optimistic, though i'm still pessimistic, it's also an achievement. Last time, i thought that killing myself was a way to "beg" for other people to pity me and making ppl who had offended me to regret. Now, i think that there are many others way to accomplish what i wanna to.

From someone that no guys would wanna befriend with me, till now, i've quite a lot of buddies especially in txy.

I went thru a lot in these 18 yrs and had learnt lots of stuffs. However, there are a lot of things which i still haven't learnt.

I hope to be really more optimistic, like being someone to be satisfied with 90 marks, instead of not being satisfied becoz i lost 10 marks. Perhaps i'm Virgo, that is why i really had high expectation on myself.

I also want to accept the fact that there is no way for me to be close with someone if god doesn't allow. Coz till now, though i can't really be close friends with some ppl, i really try my very very best to be close with them. When i dun have any results, i'll be sad and demoralised.

I also hope not to think that i'm stupid. Coz i really think that i'm a stupid damn ass, a neighbourhood school freak, and ppl think that i'm a"bimbo". In addition, I also think that i am someone who is short, ugly and fat. Haha, but this is something very true, right? Unless i go for some plastic surgery and some operations.... (Not funny)

Finally, of course my opinion on having a girlfriend. Though i dun demand for a galfriend as much as last yr, I still feel that having a galfriend is something quite special and really feel demoralised when i dun have anyone who i like to also like me.

Looking back, i'd achieved and learnt a lot but still, i've a lot which i have yet to achieve and come to terms with.

My birthday is coming

2006-09-05T11:32:00.000+08:00

Yo, hey guys, my birthday is in few more days and i'm turning 18 soon. I really look forward to that, 10th sept. Erm... actually i know that i'm a bit bu yao lian lah, coz i'm actually posting my present list here, that's what i'll prefer to have...

(Not in any order)
1. A button shirt with a t-shirt inside, like what i'd worn for ban jiang li. Can juz buy one of them or both.

2. Trackshoes, my size is around US 9-10

3. Sling bags

4. I don't mind if it's cash..

5. Some accessories (Like necklaces)

6. Erm.. that's not what i want but i believe some of u will buy it for me to make fun of me.. (products which associate with sex i.e. condom, G-string..)

And those txys whom i've invited for my party, do make an effort to come on that day coz a lot of money have been used for my party. Those other frenz of mine, i.e. my school friends, coz i know that you all are preparing for ur prelim, so i choose not to invite you all, but it doesn't mean that i dun like u all, i still love u guys.

Erm... Hope that there is no bang-sehing. Pls come if you have promised.

Time and Venue:
Time: 9 sept 2006 6-11pm
Venue: Parc Oasis clubhouse (the condo which is opposite chinese gdn mrt).
I believe that most of you will be coming by mrt, so i'll meet you all outside the chinese gdn mrt's CHEERS at around 6 and i'll leave at 6.15pm. I may not be bringing you all into my condo coz i needa get ready. Maybe i send someone else.

If you are not coming by mrt, do inform me and i'll tell you all how to come.

Erm... hope that my party will be a success coz it's my first birthday party.

Should i be a bad guy?

2006-09-01T11:36:00.000+08:00

Hi, i was juz thinking abt something abt my character. I've been puzzled abt this question for a long time. Many ppl think that i'm quite a nice guy, who seldom throw tantrum and scold ppl coz i dun get used to do it. Though it can be something good, but many ppl will see it as a chance to "bully" u, especially when u are a leader or planner of something. When i was ruiying's leader last yr, i'd been thinking abt this. But last yr, as a ruiying's leader, i seldom throw tantrum and scold. If i did, maybe 2-3 times? I admit that my leadership skill is rather avg, maybe i seldom scold ppl and give them pressure. To an extent, it does me good coz ppl are willing to cooperate with me. If we look at it in another point of view, ppl will really bully u. So, i'm thinking, shld i be someone bad and always be someone strict and scold ppl more often? I seldom scold ppl. However, when i scold ppl, i'll be blamed by others like nobody's business coz i dun always do it. Comparing to those who always scold ppl, I'll definitely be a qian gu zui ren and blamed by ppl. Of course in life, it's difficult not to be strict especially when i've lots of chances to be the leader. When i'm simply too nice and perhaps once in a bluemoon, i scold someone, people will change the impression of me in their heart. So, quite confused to choose if i shld be a bad guy?

Then, i dun see that my kindness is repaid and i dun wanna quote any examples. It seems that being myself--- treating other nicely, especially when i deal with ppl who are younger than me(i tend to treat them like my younger siblings, though i dun have any), very few ppl will appreciate. After being so nice to ppl for like days, mths or even years, they say that "Billy, you are juz like any ppl in the world." I totally feel hurt when ppl say that. Though ppl say that being a nice person shld ask any returns, ppl do still hope that your kindness will be rmb by others, right? It seems that most of the time, my kindness is not taken into consideration. Then, by treating others nicely, i'm still not liked by others....

On the other hand, ppl who dun seem to treat everyone nicely and always throw tantrums, are really well-liked and nobody thinks that they are bad. Again, these type of ppl are around us and i dun needa quote any examples.

So, shld i be a bad guy? Coz being nice doesn't seem to be a good way to deal with ppl coz very few ppl will appreciate...
On the other hand, ppl who dun tend to treat ppl nicely

Ban Jiang Li has finally ended

2006-08-27T14:42:00.000+08:00

Hi guys, I'm here again. Ban jiang li has juz ended and it is a very special day.

Firstly, I must say that i'm quite happy to win 3 prizes( best writer, best theme planner and service award). And i was quite shocked actually coz i didn't know abt the best theme planner until that very day. I was like... huh, how come there is such a prize suddenly? I won't deny that i feel a bit sad not to walk away with the best newcomer award, which many ppl think that i will win. To some extent, i've let them down. But luckily, i do receive some consolation and they tell me that my effort is recognised by them. However, i do think abt it for a nite, like my parents have said, it is better to win the best writer award, coz i'm competing with all the txys. And newcomer award is only competing among newcomers. If i'm not wrong, I'm the only guy winning the prize and for the past few yrs, there is no guys who win or even nominated for the best writer awards. Maybe i shld be proud becoz of this.

Secondly, i must say that many results are quite shocking. Many ppl are quite shocked after the release of the result. Some ppl quite kua zhang, saying that they suffer from a stroke and some claim that they vomit blood. Well, dun wanna talk abt what prizes am i referring to.

Thirdly, I'm happy to see my ruiying newbies and also steph, linda and tianrong again coz kinda miss them. Thanx for their moral support.

Then, of course, ruiying has won the you yi(excellent) grp. Though it is not the best grp, I'm quite happy and shocked again. I nearly cried but i held my tears coz chengyao and my effort really paid off. If i cried, chengyao will definitely cry. Really proud of ruiying. This prize really ends my regime as a ruiying's leader in a very good way.
Then, i must congrat tingting for winning the best writer
Tiantian for winning the best theme report.
Chengao, yijun, yitong & huimei for also winning the best theme report.
Xing Dan for winning the best newcomer.
Congrats!

Sigh, the mei zhong bu zhu(it means everything is nearly perfectly done but there is still 1-2 fault), which is the technical prob. But really can't blame anyone lah coz they didn't expect it to happen. So i really hope that chengyao, dianjun.... dun blame themselves lah...

Overall, a good ban jiang li. Hopefully i can still get nominated somehow next yr and hope that ruiying can win the best grp next yr...

2 more days to ban jiang

2006-08-24T17:05:00.000+08:00

Today is 17/8, 2 more days to banjiang, 23 more days to my party, 24 more days to my birthday and 25 more days to my prelim haha. Anyway, dun wanna talk abt prelim juz tell those who concern abt my revision that i'm doing fine. For my 4 A-level subjects, i've completed revision for around 2.75. And i'm able to attempt past yr chem & math paper. Currently pia-ing for my chinese lit and also econs(start to enjoy the sub and hopefully i can get a good pass).

Ban jiang li....
I juz finished practising my performance for ban jiang(if you wonder what is it, u will know if you go banjiang) and this is my first time doing this type of performance(not pole dance, or striping dance hor). Anyway, i'm happy that i'm nominated for 2.25 awards(best newcomer, best writer and also best article). The article is written by 4 ppl, so that's why i'm nominated for 2.25 awards. Well, i dun think i'll win any prize coz my competitors are too strong. Tell you why, coz my guess for best writer will be(It's an unofficial guess and i don't know anything abt the results):
Fangda, Aileen,Ying Wen, Yi Jun, Tingting, Yifang, Xiu hui (7 winners right?)
Darkhouse: Jun Hua, Boyi,Yiwei and Yi You
Those who have only 1% chance of winning: ONLY ME.
Coz i think that my articles are not that well written and i don't write as much as Tingting(like 9-10 articles in last than 6 mths)

Then newcomers
Winners: Bingrong, Cecilia, Qingxiang, DianJun, Hanzhong, Huimei(So sorry for shuhui & wenfei coz i dun really know you all)
Darkhouse: Yu Zhi, Yiliang, Si ying, Huimei
Those who have only 1% chance of winning: ME again

Coz i really think that i seldom go SPH this yr and i didn't take part in the planning of major event, in particular WEN HUA YING, SPORTS DAY & BANJIANG. Whereas, majority of the nominees have taken part in either all or at least 2. For me, zero.... So, i won't win i think. Though many ppl think that i'll win coz i'm a leader, i still think that i won't win by deduction. (Well... I'm not being fake, it's really what i think)

For the best article: I think tingting's article on cotton candy, ruiying's zi geng di on music school and maybe qunying's zigengdi on presents will win.
Darkhouse: Bingrong's article on shopping
Again, i dun think that my article on beijing trip will win, not becoz yiliang, siting, tingting didn't do well, and also xinyi and tianrong, but simply i did a lousy job, which result in the 90% change in our original content. Coz i juz edit grammar mistake. Though yiliang also does it, but ppl say that yiliang does a better job than me, like qin zhen and many ppl may say it in your mind. I dun deny.

Well, this is not another entry to look down on myself but well, i dun think i deserve to win coz my competitors are so strong. Again, this is only my guess. If so coincidentally, the result is this, it is really coincident, ok!

Anyway, hope that ruiying will sweep a lot of prizes during the ban jiang. Other than individual awards, not to forget huixun award and also grp award. Despite it is rumoured that a particular grp will have almost 90% chances of winning the best grp, hopefully ruiying still can get the 2nd best grp. This is abt it. We will know everything in 2 days time....

My blog is still alive...

2006-07-26T18:24:00.000+08:00

Hi guys, I know that I haven't blogged for almost 2 mths. So i must blog now, if not you all will think that my blog is dead. These 2 mths, a lot of things had actually happened. So, to cut it short, I juz write a few main things.

July
The highlight will definitely be my china trip (From 16/7-23/7). You all may find it strange, why am I going to china when I am taking my A-level this yr? Well, i dun think that 1 week will make a huge difference. In addition, i believe that it will be an unforgettable experience....
I had a chance to enter the china's parliament and i also walked on GREAT WALL OF CHINA. I have climbed almost 3500 steps altogether(I'm so li hai) In yangzhou, i've an unforgettable experience. I went for SPA(not school base practical assignment) and I need to be totally naked. And in front of all guys who went for the trip... A bit weird, haha. Most imptly, i'd learnt a lot abt myself.
I know that many ppl need me. For example, nanjing has a haunted hotel and like many ppl were scared but i wasn't. Many ppl(dun wanna mention names) need me to do something(like escorting them back to their room & help them to do a lot of stuff). I start to realise that i am not useless and ppl do need me. So i shld still to belive in myself.

Then i really need to thank everyone in this trip becoz without everyone of u, i'll not have so much fun. In particular, i need to thank a few of u.

Xiaohan
I know that you may not read my blog but really hope that you are able to read this. I really needa thank you becoz you are like my big sis in the trip. When i was sad during the trip, you are always the only one who can understand me and thus, you know what u needa say to me to make me happy. That's why, without you on the trip, nobody will understand my feeling and my thoughts.....

Tianrong
Again, i dun think that you will read my blog coz you are so busy and u dunno my blog address. Still hope that somehow, you can read it. Anyway, thanks for being a good roommate(Although i had told u during the trip). Actually, you remind me of myself when i was your age. But of course, i'm not that handsome, tanned and joyful as u. From the way you deal with things and others, it really resembles me when i was sec 3. So to some extent, i treat u as my bro. Anyway, the main reason for thanking you is that as my roommate, you didn't really give me any trouble coz i nvr have a good roommate for my exchange. So thanks for making my trip wonderful by being a good roommate, especially the 1st few days and the last few days, when we really talked and communicated....

The others, my fellow ruiyings, thanks for going coz ruiying has the most ppl going, yeh!And the others, especially the lao yings and zhiwei and yimin, thanx for taking care of us. Linda, xinyi and steph, also glad to know you all and we do have fun during the trip. Linda and xinyi, thanks for all the encouragement when we were climbing the great wall. And lastly, yi liang, enjoy our cooperation for the writing of articles.

August
More to come.... juz wait.

School is re-opening soon.

2006-06-23T12:46:00.000+08:00

Haha, still at home. I would be going out in few more mins. Well, initially i would have been having my lunch outside already but becoz Cecilia can't make it. So she suggested to meet at 1 plus. Well, currently doing ruiying huixun and last huixun of my regime. I really needa say, i'm really trying very hard to help now. I must admit that i don't contribute that much coz i needa prepare for my mid-yr, which had ended few days ago. Hopefully they can understand coz my instinct tells me that some ppl think that i didn't put in any hard work but i must emphasise, i'd put in my 110% but simply i've too much to do for my revision for the whole june holiday and i was juz released from the stress 2 days ago. Well, dun wanna elaborate.

Finally my exam came to an end. I'd really put in a lot of effort and hopefully God is on my side, coz exam is also an element of luck.

Tml is txy sports day. Well, kinda looking forward coz last yr i left halfway coz something cropped up at home last yr. I believe it'll be fun since it's planned by weilai, bingrong, cecilia....
Look forward to an unforgettable sports day.

Sigh, after working so hard for exam, i am left with few days of fun coz school is re-opening soon.Ironically, I kinda also look forward to school re-opening coz i'll know if my study method works and if my hardwork has paid off. I'll stop here, gonna meet cecilia for lunch.

1 more week to exam, so near yet so far

2006-06-13T17:25:00.000+08:00

Wow, finally coming back to blog. Juz kinda feel like using the computer coz juz wanna take a break after studying the bloody econs. Well, econs is really bloody coz i simply dunno what is it abt and ppl think that it is the most impt sub. I dun see any importance in econs and my parents, with their old mindset, believe that it is beneficial to my entire life. Well, too late to drop coz i'm already J2 and my parents only tell me that i can drop if i want. Isn't it really too slow? They shld have told me this last yr and i quarrelled with them for countless times regarding the issue of dropping econs. Econs, this bloody subject, really causes so much trouble and indeed, it is beneficial to my entire life.... But well, i'll never ever touch econs after i graduate from JC. If i do, anyone who has read abt this entry, pls push me down a tall building.

Anyway, this holiday is simply juz studying and i'm trying to lose some weight. And i have some success in it. In addition, i swim a lot and ppl feel that i look tanned now, which is good. People will think that i'm a gay if i'm too fair and i hate being fair. Looking forward to lose more weight and being tanned. TXY, 2 more wks to sports day, hope to cya soon!

June holiday has finally arrived... Tired

2006-06-01T21:04:00.000+08:00

Hey guys, june holiday has finally arrived. Well, many ppl are busy coz they have too many outings. For me, i'm so busy becoz my exam is on the last week of june holiday, as well as for my huixun. But really thanx CY a lot for dividing my job to others. Thanks a lot! Time really flies. I've come to my last huixun... It kinda gives me a sign that my partnership with chengyao is coming to an end. Well, i had a great time ytd coz i went for k-ing. I haven't been there for quite long. Haha.
Well, i'm currently look forward to lose some weight coz i think i have put on some weight recently. My aim is to weigh around 58kg, and i still needa lost few more kgs. Hopefully i can. I must go back and "pia" for my mid-yr liao. Take care guys. So tired......

Billy's back, so stressed

2006-05-14T16:14:00.000+08:00

Hey everyone, i'm back after 2 weeks. Wanted to blog coz i'm waiting for someone to reply my msn and he is like, didn't reply my sms since ytd. Is it a karma, coz i didn't reply his msg, informing him that he had successfully added me in msn? Erm, so sorry then, if u happen to read my blog
Well, last wk i went for NS check-up. Well, i got PES C, so get exempted from physical activity, it's good i believe. Recently juz feel very stressed, perhaps i'm really loaded with a lot of homework and tests. Some ppl think that i'm giving myself too much stress but well, i dun think so. I want to do very well for "A"-level coz i didn't do incredibly well for any of my major exams. I got 218 for PSLE, 14 for O-level, quite bad actually. So if i dun do well for my "A"-level, which i want to get A for Math & Chem, and B for Chinese A and a pass for GP (if i can, B3 and i'm dreaming)hopefully(Dun bother abt econs, hopefully a C). I'm doomed if i dun do well for A-level.

Well, i know that txy is currently preparing for wen hua ying and i'm like not helping out. Honestly i feel very bad when almost all committe members for TXY are helping out. And i'm doing my last huixun in the regime of CY & me as the ruiying leaders. I really dunno what to do. Chengyao hopes that i can take charge of this july huixun and i think i shld coz chengyao took charge of the previous 2 huixuns. But then, my mid-yr is on the last week of june holiday. So unfortunately. Then, my parents dun want me to go down coz of my A-level. Why dun they allow me to make my own decision. It seems that all my family members are forbiding me to go down to sph. SPH is the Forbidden City, haha.(Not funny) So really dunno what to do? Can u tell me how?

My duty on Earth?

2006-05-01T17:49:00.000+08:00

Well, juz came back from a k-box session with txy. Haha, realised that i cannot sing and it is once again proven that my singing sux. Know that i'd pulled a long face for the session coz many things had happened recently. This really doubts my duty on Earth. Such a typical Billy's entry, right?

Well, once again something happened to my love life. As usual, it's bad news. The gal whom ppl think that she likes me, she is currently dating another guy. Why did she take the initiative then and made me misunderstand? Well, another bad experience for my love life. So typical, right?

Then, my regime as the ruiying leader is ending in few mths. Well, what had i contributed? Well, i dun think so. Calling members to go sph and do huixun, everyone can do, as long as u have a handphone and their contact numbers. Leading a meeting, is juz like chatting with my members. Who can't do it unless u dun have a mouth? I shld know how to do a huixun but yet, i dunno how to pai ban, dunno this dunno that, and somemore, i dun even know how to use a photocopy machine. Sucking leader like me....... Perhaps i'm the most useless person in zhong yang.

So after so many things had happened, i began to think abt my duty on Earth. Perhaps i was produced to be rejected, mocked, isolated and hated. Obviously, my duty isn't to entertain. Perhaps u say that i can joke, but some ppl hate my jokes. I can't sing and of course my looks are not entertaining. My duty is to lead? Well i am doing a very bad job for ruiying and my school.... not worth to be mentioned.

So obviously, i'm produced to be rejected, by gals especially. To be mocked, obviously i'm. To be isolated, for sure, being isolated for so many yrs in school. To be hated, so many ppl hate me, i know it! These are my duties on Earth.

If this is the case, i'm leading a hard and tiring life. Sooner or later, i'll not be able to carry on. My duty will sooner or later be completed. What can i do when i think that my duty in life has finished? Ending perhaps will be a good choice since it is a chore for me to lead my life( Sorry for sounding so sucidal(did i spell correctly?) but that is what i think)

Lastly, i must apologise to those who went for the the k-ing session today. Sorry aileen, qing xiang, bingrong, chengyao, xiaohan, dianjun,jiahao and huixiang. Perhaps i shldn't be there today and i believed to have spoilt the fun. I dun mean if u all will hate me for this coz i deserve it, since my duty on Earth is to be hated.....

Love,Love,Love What can I say?

2006-04-16T01:23:00.000+08:00

Hmm... i come to blog again, within 2 days. You may find the title familiar, coz it came from a song which is sang by Fann Wong. This title really reveals what i'm thinking now actually. Trying to convince myself that i must do well for A-level, but dunno why i still bother so much abt my love life? Coz sooner or later, i must have a plan for it. I may juz..... be a loser in love. That's why i need to study to ensure that i have a busy job to keep me fully occupied, coz i may not even have the chance to go dating. Lonely is terrifying. Juz realised that a gal(still dunno if i really like her or not), is going quite well with a guy, who has better physical qualities and it's impt coz as i had said in one of my blog entries last yr, this world is superficial. So did i lose the battle, or did i even qualify for the battle? Dunno, juz again it is another confirmation of my suxing love life. Really dunno what can i say for LOVE? Impt, not impt, superficial, non-superficial. Today junhua came to my house and we chatted, and he told me he had 5 gfs. OMG, isn't it a bit too much for someone at my age. But he is nothing compared to jia shuai who had almost 20 gfs, despite being 1 yr older than me. Junhua told me that it's easy to woo gals, he even gave me some tactics but well, such tactics go well for u, but not me. Again, Love,Love,Love, What can i say? Love, will i even be "eligible" to talk abt it coz i may not even have a chance to touch it before my heartbeat stops. Looks, i dun have. Studies, i'm doing well in school (an avg school). If i dun do well for my A-level, what is the point of living on earth? I'm juz like a useless piece of scrap metal. With horrible outer and inner beauty, where can i go? Perhaps the Heaven or even the Hades will be better for me. Earth..... it's not a place for me!

Troubled Billy coming to blog

2006-04-14T22:19:00.000+08:00

Well, u shld know what i wanna write when u see the title. Currently really troubled with a few issues:
1. Studies
I got triple A for my 1st term, so shldn't i be happy? Nope i'm not coz i failed my GP. My parents are screaming at me and want me to improve my GP by memorising the dictionary. They even tell me that u can know my vocab by not going bao guan. So, it shows that they dun want me to go bao guan.
2. TXY
My troubles came from txy. I'm really.... like i can't go to bao guan and i can't contribute. Really think that the whole zhong yang will hate me. Then my new batch of ruiying, i love them very much.
But... some txy from other grps dun really like them coz they scream too loud&think that they dun work. My ruiying'06, i dun think of it that way. Screaming too loud makes someone irritating, and i think that it's a sign of enthusiatism. So shld txy be quiet during the orientation? I dun think ppl wanna see it in orientation. Then ppl think that they can't perform, but well, they handed in their zi geng di on time. They sent their articles on me 3 days b4 the deadline. Then 3 articles from the ruiying'06 are on the POPCORN for consecutive 2 weeks, so u see, they work, they write articles, they dun juz barely talk! Then they always call me to discuss abt the ways to write articles. So did any of the ppl in other grps do so? I doubt there are a lot. U may see us talking, ha-la, but we do it after we finished our official work. But well, ruiying'06, u all do well. U all are enthu, are able to work, able to meet deadline, u all rox! We dun need to bother abt such words, ur leaders(CY&I) have strong faith in u all. Ur ability will be revealed sooner or later. PPL will also know sooner or later that we are all-rounders. So sorry for the txys which u are involved in this, that's what i want to see. And i also want u all to know my members better, the side which u all didn't see. End of story
3rd Love
Well, a problem which has been troubling me for ages. This time, dunno if i am right, i think a gal likes me and not very sure abt my feeling towards her. Do i like her, or do i not? But ppl think that we are brought up in diff cultures and we may not click. But well, i promised myself, i must finish my A-level b4 thinking of this, although i dun want to do so.
Anyway, the moral of the story is that, I AM TROUBLED.

TXY, I love u all, take care, i got to go!

2006-04-01T23:28:00.000+08:00

Coming back to blog. Juz came back from SPH coz i went to help with the huixun. Well, i don't tthink that i did a lot. I'm actually juz entertaining the newbies, so that they won't be so bored. But i'm so happy that today i met jun hua(aka hua zai), coz he can speak fluent cantonese like me and we were like talking non-stop. So sorry for those txy whom don't understand cantonese, but we didn't isolate u all. Anyway, tml may be the last day that i'll go down to bao guan, for the time being. Coz it shld be time for me to prepare for my A-level. U all may say that i'm a mugger but i will say that i'm a stupid bird as the chinese idiom goes, a stupid bird needs to fly first(ben niao xian fei). U all may even say that i'm getting almost A&B for my subjects and i can slack, but my mum thinks that i shld stop. I'll be able to secure my As for my A-level. Then, i'll be really so happy and share this happiness with u guys. Well, it is so difficult. Anyway, i'll really miss SPH. But anyway, if u all can compromise with me, i can still meet u guys. S'pore is so small and we can meet somewhere near my house, right? It is really quite sad coz i juz got close to my newbies and now.... Take care, and i'll be back!

Wow... Orientation is unbelievably fun

2006-03-21T20:05:00.000+08:00

Wow, this march holiday is so fun and enriching. Fun, becoz i juz need to go back to school for 1 day and i've finally taken my grade6 piano exam and i have one less burden. However, the most impt thing is that i finally became a leader in the orientation. In addition, i also helped to plan the outdoor games, juz like amazing race.
1st day of orientation
It was a bit cold lah coz maybe we still dunno each other and thus, find it tough to interact with them lah.
2nd day of orientation
Went to Ford Motor Museum for interview. The newbies are running around, doing interview. For lao ying like me, jessie, qing xiang, we juz slack and chat. It was so much better as we talk a lot with my grp members after i treated them fruit. 13 ppl! However, the $5 is really worth it and ruiying is so enthu. That day, i also played many games and it was really so fun...
Last Day
It was the best day coz i had a lot of fun. We've the exchange of bento. That ting ting made so much of food for me and i can't finish them and i shared them among the ruiying. Hopefully she doesn't mind. For the committe members buffet, i made japanese jelly and it was finished. The most memorable thing is that weizheng kept on complaining the wasting of $22 for the beehoon..... Sigh, that's weizheng. Then finally, it was amazing race. At first, there is some prob btw the newbies and the lao ying of ruiying and later on i went to solve the prob and hopefully i did? At least they are more united. I was really said that we outlooked many stuffs i.e. the distance of stations, time management etc. Really is a lesson learnt for me. Finally for the night, this was something very funny. That cutie(did i spell correctly) jeremy asked me to wax his hair for him. I was like.... okok(shocked) coz nobody asked me to help to wax their hair b4 and both of us were stucked in the toilet for like 20 mins. Then help him with his costume took another 5 mins coz he kept on asking me for advice. I really must say that he looked more mature in his costume that day. During the wan hui, i was like screaming with my grp members. That' s what JJCians do. Coz it was very high. Of course that day, i took some photos(go to my friendster and see). Then lastly, few newbies from ruiying and i got a lift from guohui to jurong east. The funniest thing is that joanna(a newbie) told guohui, thanks uncle. Then after we alighted, i told her that guohui is still in his 20s. Then Joanna was like, OMG!
Anyway, hopefully i have more chances to play but too bad... i needa go and prepare my exam liao.....

How come i juz simply can't write some optimistic entries?

2006-02-28T21:45:00.000+08:00

Hello, Coming back to blog. Sigh.... School is happening so many things, especially in my class. Seems that i'm not having close relationship with my grp of friends. Maybe they are really dating and dating is everything. And really as time goes by, you'll really see the true character of everyone. Well, i really think that i'm diff from them and shld i say that i'm glad that i'm diff from them? The gals are alright, perhaps manipulated by their bfs.Well, the guys they are not serious in their works and talking during tutorial. Well, that's why i can do better in my tests(excluding econs which i totally hate it). Well, is it great that i'm diff frm them? Sitting with them, most of the time they dun talk to me, so i'll normally talk to other friends from other classes. They may think that i "bang-seh" them but well, why do i needa bang-seh them? They must think this way, right? Today, when i went home, i could take bus 198 with them, but i chose not to. They may think that i am this, i'm that, but well, who are those ppl who don't even bother to wait for me for 1 min for me to pack my bag and return my utensils? Am i doing all this correctly?

Coming to blog becoz i'm in a bad mood

2006-02-07T21:46:00.000+08:00

Hello everyone, coming to blog again. You may think that i'll talk abt my CNY celebration, but it'll not be my main thing that i'll talk abt. Firstly, i must say that i celebrate CNY with my TXY friends for the first time and it is like so fun, joking and playing pool with them.
But basically, i'm really in a foul mood now. Coz juz now, i'm doing my econs homework and i dunno where to search for my ans. Basically, i hate and detest econs. You all may ask why do i take econs. Then, i can tell u, I DON"T KNOW EITHER! I shld have taken physic instead. My parents always think that econs is so easy and it's common sense, i dun think so. Then, when i asked them abt the pros and cons for a zero interest policy, they dunno and i asked them that i thought they said that it was common sense. But they immediately change their stand, they were saying that they'll do well if they have studied for it. Rubbish, who won't do well if u dun study for a subject? My sis is more understanding, knowing that it's not necessary to take 4 sub in A-level and it's alright to drop 1. But my parents think that taking 4 subs will be better as i'll have another subject which will act as an insurance, in my case----Econs. Well, i dun even think that it's an insurance. You all can imagine, if you all only have juz the money to maintain a living, will u still buy an insurance? Well, u all know the answer. You all may say that i'm coping well with my math& chem and sometimes, my Chinese A, and it's alright to take econs, but i simply hate the subject. Then, my parents are nagging and nagging, telling me the example abt my mum's boss, who were employed by the company becoz he took econs in A-level(despite getting only an AO-level pass). I'm totally sick with this example. I'll nvr ever wanna touch econs after my A-level and i'll not major in econs in my university. If i'm only given the choice to major in econs in uni, i'll not study uni. Also dunno what to do, should i continue with econs, despite i've so much hatred, or shld i carry on becoz of all the benefits which i've heard for so many times. I dun mind telling you all, i quarrel with my parents a lot of times discussing abt the difficulty of econs and shld i drop econs. Sigh!!!!!!!!!!!!

Omg, haven't blogged for 2 mths

2006-01-22T15:19:00.000+08:00

Hey, my readers. I know that many of u have scolded me for not blogging for so long. I'll blog now. But u all better mentally prepared, i've a lot to blog.
Xi'An exchange trip
The 10 days xi'an trip was so fun!!! Manage to visit one of the wonders of the world, terra cotta (bin ma yong). That was like so nice. I even went to the place where Chiang Kai-Shek hid himself during the Xi'An mutiny(Paiseh, you may not know what i'm talking abt if u dun take history). This trip, sigh.... i was injured, perhaps i run a bit and i even played captain's ball . I sprained my thigh muscle. So dao mei. I was sent to the sick bay of the school. The aunt in the sick bay and help me to apply some medicine. Btw, Bing Rong, u think that u are pathetic that u hurt urself during ur PE lesson, i'm equally pathetic. Let the aunt to touch my xxxx...... That's why my frenz said that i'm so "fortunate" that i've more experiences than them. Thank god that my Group B is so nice to me, especially the Cheong Guan click. They really help me so much like lending them their shoulder when i need support, helping me to take the bag. Really dunno how to thank them.
Hmm... other than them, i must mention abt my roommate. OMG, the whole grp can't stand him. Perhaps he is a triple science student, what he says is so scientific and mathematical. Like what biology, permuation, yuck! That's why many of us dun regard him as a member of grp B. He asked for it. Anyway, i'm very happy that i found a gal who has a close character as me. Very close with her. Hmm.... and all my grp B members(of course excluding my roommate) help me and give me lots of support. But too bad, she kinda rejected me 1-2 wks ago. Really seems that i'm not fated with love. But anyway, i really enjoy the trip with my grp B members. I love u guys.
HK trip
Haha tell u guys something, when i reached home after the Xi'An trip, I only have a 4-5hrs sleep in S'pore and i took a plane to HK again. That few days are really so tired, with 4-5hrs sleep in china. But luckily, i feel better after few days, especially the few days where my family went to Xi'An for holiday from China. I sleep for almost 10 hrs each day. But when my family is at home, my dad always wakes up so early in HK. Coz i sleep at the living room, my dad always comes out and watches tv. Disturb me sia. But hey, i went to HK disneyland. It is really so nice mah. But a bit too small liao.... Anyway. This HK trip i met Aileen in Hk and i treated her dinner. I brought him to buy a lot of earrings. That aileen says that i put on weight but i didn't!!!!!!!!!!! She even tells many TXYs abt it. When i went back to S'pore, the TXY all checked me and see that actually i didn't put on weight. Aileen Lui, You get it from me hor!
TXY
Leaving S'pore for more than 1 mth, i miss a lot of TXY activity. Sinma exchange,ruiying outing...... But juz realised that a lot of things happen in TXY in this short mth. But nvm, i juz dun be nosey lah. Dun wanna know too much liao. At least, i have the chance to go for the countdown & zhiwei's house. It was like so fun. In zhiwei's house, i even played mahjong with bingrong, biaogang and yuneng. Haha, i still win quite a lot... of chips only. But nvm, hope that i have a chance to play mahjong with them
School
School starts and the pressure starts. So many tests and i fall sick! And now, i'm the only one taking 4 subjects in my class liao... Really must know how to balance. Hey, btw, i juz started to dislike my CCA coz of the teacher. She wanna takes full charge of the CCA but yet, she wants us to plan everything. Really every committee member can't stand her liao.... Nvm, hope that it's around May already and i can step down. She even askes me to help her after i step down, Fat Hope!

Hopefully my entry is not too long. Cya guys. More blogs coming.

Leaving in one more wk/superficial world

2005-11-22T09:56:00.000+08:00

Hey, coming to blog again. Sigh... last wk no Amazing Race coz didn't write my article on it. Haha, despite knowing that not much ppl are reading it, i still write it, haha. I actually have 2 BBQ this wk. Hmm, and i put on weight liao lah.... Keep on eating and eating. So sad.(As if i was happy b4) Hmm... i'm leaving next wk for China & HK liao. A bit pity lah coz i dun hv the chance to go for the 2 gatherings, xinma camp and helping to distribute huixun. Our huixun now hor... coz all of our new txys(including me...) dunno how to pai ban, then yijun was telling us that many pgs cannot make it lah. I'll rather it's yijun whom tells us our mistakes, rather than WZ lah. Yijun really wants us to learn but WZ hor, juz wanna show off his paiban skill lah....
Hmm... my china trip, i haven't even gotten my vaccine yet lah coz there is no stock for so many clinics. What if really i get it if i go China?(touch wood)
Sigh, how come like many ppl beside me are betraying & cheating me? Perhaps i'm too pessimistic... I always ask myself lah, can i be more optimistic? I tried already, but i dun really can. Coz really i got so many things liao, but juz not love. I'm able to get the best results in class, the longest testimonial in class, status in school(as the president of my CCA), fame(by appearing on tv)... and many others lah. It seems that i'm not getting love. Xinying has also asked me if that is ur priority now? We know that studies shld be our priority now but as we know humans have unlimited wants, since i'm now stable in my studies, i'll wanna pursue other things. Juz like grown-ups, who said that career is their priority, but when their career is stable, they will consider to get married, right? It is the same thing wat. Like many ppl always tell me that they are "xian mu" abt me, getiing everything which they dun have, and telling me that my love life is very near to me. But these are really "ke tao hua", trying to console me ah? Thanx a lot lah! Maybe i dun get love, a major reason is due to the fact that i was "blessed" with a pair of almost useless legs. Due to this fact, i can't really go for sports which gals like, e.g. basketball, soccer. Ya, the world is so superficial, many ppl are going for all these, which i dun have. Well, rather than asking me not to think too much abt engaging into a true relationship, i shld try to convince myself that i'm living in a superficial world.

OP tml, Amazing Race Fever

2005-11-09T13:53:00.000+08:00

Hi everyone. My OP is tml, dunno what will happen leh. Everyone is like writing cue cards & notes, but i'm juz not used to doing it. Am i thinking too highly of myself, well i don't think i'm, coz i like to prepare my talks in this way
_____________________________________________________________________
Btw, i juz finished watching the amazing race(family edition). Now is down to the final 4, so season finale is around the corner. But i'm rather happy after watching today's episode. Firstly, the Paolo family, which i disliked right from the beginning, has been eliminated. Very good! Secondly, the Weaver family, who had been yielded by the Paolo, is back into the game and they are at the top of the pack. Weaver & Gaghan(which is eliminated last wk and i was so sad last wk) were the teams which i supported right from the beginning. The other teams seem to dislike the Weavers and this may probably lead to their elimination. Actually i find the Weavers nice and other teams dislike them, probably because of what they did in response after the other teams are rude to them. Down to the final 4, i really hope that the Weaver will win the race. Let me analyse the chances of the 4 teams.
Godlewski family(Probability 70%):The team with all females. They have been doing well since the beginning(They have achieved first in the 1st leg). Although they had arrived at the pit stop last, they were saved from elimination coz it was a non-elimination leg. Ppl may think that they are not physically fit enough, but i think that with their luck, brain & good relationship with the other teams may lead to their victory.
Linz family(Probability 70%): The most altheletic & physically-fit team coz it has 3 young and strong guys in the team. This may result to their victory. However, for these past 8 legs, it seems that they didn't get 1st b4, they are always in the 2nd & 3rd position. This shows they have no fate in getting first. Juz like today's show, they were actually in a solid 1st place when they are taking a motor boat to the pit-stop, but too bad, the Godlewski Sisters overtook them, despite boarding the motor boat approximately 5 mins after the Linz. This is really luck. But i believe their physical may lead them to their victory.
Weaver family(Probability 50%): The brainest & determined team. It is the team with the widow and her 3 children. The mother is definitely a good leader and this will be advantageous compared to other teams. However, none of the remaining teams likes them and if the Weavers didn't arrive at the next Yield board in 1st position, they may be eliminated coz the other teams will definitely yield them. In addition, they only have Rolly(the only male in the team, which is only 14 yrs old) who is really physically fit and the females in the teams seem rather weak physically. Really hope that they can be the winners for the game despite all these. Good luck!
Bransen family(Probability 10 %): Oh my god, they are still in the race? What are they good at actually, even though they had gotten 1st in 2 consecutive leg b4? I can't really figure out. They have a physically weak father and i dun think they are smart enough, so I believe that they will be eliminated next.
This is my 1st prediction for the amazing race, if u watch amazing race, juz add a comment. If u have nvr watched amazing race and u wanna watch after reading my prediction, by all means. With more prediction next wed!

Are there true friendship in the world? I wonder!

2005-11-06T15:54:00.000+08:00

Hey guys, i come and blog again. I'm now in my holiday mood. But still need to go back to school for my OP rehearsal and Firefly(school activities). I actually kind of didn't write note for my OP, juz kind of look through my slides and juz say anything i thought of after looking at the title. Is it good? Haha! Well, i'm going to paiban liao. Really dunno how am i going to do it? I totally have 0% of experience. What am i going to do? I may need to do everything myself, haha. But at least ruiying is cooperative. We got all our articles on time. And i believe that ruiying can meet the criteria, 80% active newbies. Dun talk abt sph lah. I'm actually like quite sad, i'm having holiday but i'm juz stuck at home. My friends are either dating or having exams. Sigh..... Who can i blame? It is a $1,000,000 question. Well, it seems that my fate is to stuck at home from now till end of november. Movies, ppl have fixed to watch the movies with their friends & galfriend/boyfriend. K-box, not free. Sigh, really dunno how to blame. They reject me is becoz they really have a date or becoz of me? In addition, they dun wanna ask me out is becoz of wat? They only treat me as a study tool, which i know many ppl do it, especially those in my class! I really cannot figure among my classmates, who are not wearing a mask? Will my friends betray me one day, well i dun really know? Are there true friendship in the world? Or merely, they juz treat me as someone who are their free tutor or someone who can teach them anytime? Will i still have so many friends if my studies start to deterioate? Well the answer doesn't need a genius to figure out!

Good mood!

2005-10-23T21:20:00.000+08:00

As u can see from the title, i'm in a gd mood. I have actually gotten over on what had happened last wk and i'm very happy that i'm still gd friend with her. Ytd, i was in bao guan for the xinma meeting. And tha CY came to bao guan, wanna study but he is juz (ha la)-ing for2 hrs. OMG, CY, dunno if u r reading my blog or not, i really hope that u can really conc. to study this mth. Juz one mth and everything is over. U can ha-la how much u can after ur O-level. Lu Jing & i had promised to treat u to a buffet if u get L1R5 15 and below. Then in bao guan, all the J1 are discussing abt their results and siping and lu jing gong xi me lah. That weizheng again, haolian-ing that he got top in GP and aileen "dia"(hokkien) him. Good job, aileen! I still ask him, so what did u get for ur rest of the subject? Haha! That day siping and i "longbang" guo hui's car coz siping went back to NUS and i went to west mall. He is really nice leh, he even talked to me abt his plan of taking a train and bus from s'pore to norway. He's really someone interesting. Hope that he really succeed. Today, i woke up early and went to bao guan and work for the cpf talk with lu jing, biaogang & xiuhui. It was very fun. It was really the 1st time i talked to xiuhui and she is really nice lah. We were talking abt university & "A"-level. That day, we were eating so many things and i even brought few packs of rice back home. I even earned $40. That's good. I'll be ending here lah. But b4 that, bing rong hor, u didn't reply my sms on sat! I was like looking for u to chat on the phone then u didn't reply lor, haha.

Love & I are just belong to the same polarity of a magnet

2005-10-18T00:02:00.000+08:00

Coming to blog again, as usual! 2 days later, i'll b appearing on you hua jiu suo, kind of looking forward to it. Last sunday juz went to k-box. Well, i must say that it's fun with the 3 of them(Aileen, BR & CY), 1st time going out with them. But comparing with them, my singing is so awful. Haha! I really gonna say this weekend was rather bad for me, as u can see that i only slept 2hrs on sunday coz i must rather troubled by my love life, and i still don't have one. So, it doesn't need a genius to figure out that i'm rejected. I must say i'm really depressed this time round compared to the last time coz i really had high hope of it. I really cannot blame anyone except for myself, not being able to succeed in love... Why is it like that? Is it becoz i couldn't exercise due to my pair of legs, or it's simply i dun have luck, or some reasons which i dunno. Really feel demoralise when i see so many of my friends, even though i have better qualities than them. Juz simply can't figure out the reason. Perhaps love and i juz share the same polarity, we repel and dun attract. Hmm... dunno what will be my future love life. It seems that i'm nvr successful and i find myself a failure, coz i brought upon all this to my self. My love life for my future is really a big question mark!

Never expected!

2005-10-12T23:55:00.000+08:00

As usual, coming to blog again. Juz now talk to CY on the phone and i used my hp. Dunno whether my bill will burst or not. Hmm... really looking forward to the K-ing session with Aileen, CY and BR. Hmm, they are going to listen to my awful singing, haha! Recently, i put on 3 kg becoz of me keeping on eating and eating during my promo's period! Hey, guys, tell u all a gd news, i unexpectedly got 1st in my class. I was like really shocked. Although i'm always 2nd for the blog test and the mid-yr, i was rather happy. And this time, 17 yrs, 1st time ever, i got 1st! Unbelievable. My dear friends like CY & aileen had already gong xi me liao. Thanx hor! I already say i'll treat them to k-box, haha! Others, dun be jealous coz i think the 3 of them really deserve the treat coz they dui wo bu li bu qi(translate to chinese). Hmm... juz telling u guys i believe my click in class is spliting soon. Not surprising. Coz there are 2 couples in the clicks. And then Eric always sticks with Junhao and Suying always goes with Wendy. Me, i only go with David lah and David isn't influential enough. Maybe i'll be leaving the click sooner or later. In my click, if i dun speak, they dun really speak to u. It only applies to me, i think. That's why if i believe in "Speak when spoken to", i dun really need to open my mouth at all. Dun mention abt it liao lah. At least surprisingly i got 1st and it seems that a lot of jealousy is happening in my class. But, i can't do anything. Do they want me to fail my test or what? Lame! Hey, still looking forward to the K-ing session. HAHA!

I'm appearing on the show, screening in my school!

2005-10-07T21:17:00.000+08:00

Hello, coming to blog AGAIN! Coz recently too free liao, haha! Juz tell u all last time i'm trying to contact the FLORENCE, i did it! But not FLORENCE lah, she taking leave, it was someone else, SHARON. Thanx Mr tay for giving me her no. And, i'm going to appear on the episode that will be screened in my school! Good! I'm taking when i do my self-introduction, should i say that i'm from JJC and ppl screamed? Coz i'm talking abt ppl using blog criticising and insulting their teachers. I may lift eg. from my school.. Hmm... thinking abt it! But at least i'm appearing on the show. Recently, many ppl can recognise me lor. That time when ppl come and visit my school, they still ask me, " are u the person who appeared on tv" And also my friends in my tuition class. Haha! Is it something gd or bad? Dun talk abt it lah! As long as i'm appearing on the show. That's all i wanna say. To end, i actually nominated someone in SPH as the best grp member, and who is it? I dun say first, haha!

Promos over

2005-10-06T17:17:00.000+08:00

Hi guys, promo is juz over. I shld be going out with my friends but what, my click has split into 2 today. The gals go for ladies shopping and the guys go to some computer stores which i dun really interested. I'll rather go with them if they are going to an arcade, although i seldom play. I juz find out something in my class, myself and another gal, both of us are the top students in the class, seem to be lonely in class today. Haha, is it a phenomenon that ppl have better results will be lonely? Dunno leh, but who cares, i dun feel lonely in SPH! I dun really blame my friends in the class, it is not their fault, it is my fault coz i dun do what they like to do. Today i juz knew that my chinese compo went out of pt! I was really a bit depressed lah but luckily, my teacher tells me that my language paper is quite alright. Then, should be ok lah! Nvm lah, i can see in it another pt of view, i shouldn't have chosen story writing which i had chosen in my promo. I should really stick with my old style, writing argumentative compo. Ok, i really must learn this lesson! Forget abt the bad news, the show "shoot!" is coming to JJC to film. GD!I really hope that i can appear on that episode. But it seems that i can't find the person in charge, FLORENCE! I got 2 of her hp nos. But, what i heard is always, i'm florence, sorry that i can answer ur call, pls leave a msg!!! I left a msg, no one replies. I'm going to look for mdm lau coz she got the person in-charge no. Pls let me contact her, i'll really want to appear... Hopefully my dream can come true!

Long time no see

2005-09-30T12:18:00.000+08:00

Wow, juz realised that i haven't updated my blog for 1 mth but i'm crapping on other ppl's tagboard. Hmm, the most impt thing for this mth is of course, MY BIRTHDAY. I've 4 cakes for my birthday, one from my family, the friendly volunteer at ISD, my ruiying and Lori. This yr is really a milestone coz first time ever, my friends celebrate my birthday and they buy my cakes.. Thanx guys. This mth i also appear on my you hua jiu shuo, GOOD! I spoke so much this time round. Gd! Erm really looking forward to my exchange trip to China and my HK trip. Coz this time round, first time ever bring my s'pore friend around in HK, which is AILEEN! Haha.. Btw, thanx for all the caring & concern which my friends have given me. I've already "Look Open"(direct translation). I shouldn't be locked by Suhwei and i really have let go. Thanx guy.

单身男子日记簿

单身男子日记簿第二十二则

单身男子日记簿第二十一则

单身男子日记簿第二十则

单身男子日记簿第十九则

单身男子日记簿第十九则

单身男子日记簿第十八则

单身男子日记簿第十七则

单身男子日记簿第十六则

单身男子日记簿第十五则

单身男子日记簿第十四则

单身男子日记簿第十三则

单身男子日记簿第十二则

单身男子日记簿第十一则

单身男子日记簿第十则

单身男子日记簿第九则

单身男子日记簿第八则

单身男子日记簿第七则

单身男子日记簿第六则

单身男子日记簿第五则

单身男子日记簿第四则

单身男子日记簿第三则

单身男子日记簿第二则

Starting things anew(单身男子日记簿第一则)

Back with my philosophy in life

I'm depressed & aimless

我仿佛回到了以前

Decision isn't easy to make

最近过得比较好

若我能坐上时光机

我真的笨过人

快乐时抱着时，那是至死不渝朋友？

我对世界绝望了！

沉默是金(Silence is golden)

没有快乐起来的理由

原来...

又过了一天

最近心情不太好

I'm dumb

CNY

好伤心、好错乱

I'm back frm hongkong

I'm on a vacation

若选择踏上这一步，或许就是永远了。

Merry Merry Christmas, Lonely Lonely Christmas/借酒真的可以烧愁吗？

When i start to see the light of hope, it disappears in the shortest time possible

Being helpful is good?

A special letter to my buddy

My movie

quotes frm "famous people"

My story is finally uploaded

我要写故事了，请多多支持！

INFERIOR Billy

My sweet 19

Reflecting on the past 19 years

Many ppl do care for me/List of birthday gifts

I can feel your sadness coz i'm also sad.

I don't know whether "disappointed" is a good word

success friendship for dummies

1 post b4 my book-in

I'm back....

My feelings are complicated like hell

Effort=result?

Friends

Blogging after 1 mth

Back in Hong Kong

Knowing too much things may not be good

Exams are over. Happy?

Fail, failed, failure!

Everything will start in 17 hrs.

JC life has ended

Few more weeks to A-level/ prelim results

My ambition is correct

Everything is complicated...

Looking back

My birthday is coming

Should i be a bad guy?

Ban Jiang Li has finally ended

2 more days to ban jiang

My blog is still alive...